Episode 23: The Personal Operating System: How High Achievers Stay Grounded Through Major Life Transitions
How do you make the biggest decisions of your life when nothing around you feels stable?
Major life transitions strip away the routines that make people feel capable, and they tend to arrive right when the most consequential decisions need to be made. The instinct is to wait until the dust settles. But waiting is its own decision, and it usually costs more than people expect.
Marisa Messana, former professional golfer and founder of Marigold Elite Partners, coaches executives and high achievers on performance systems built for this kind of pressure. In this episode, she walks through her three pillars of mental resilience, physical optimization, and emotional intelligence, and how they combine into what she calls a personal operating system.
Listen in as Marisa breaks down the daily mental gym practice that sets the tone for an entire day, the weekly reflection ritual that builds self-trust, and the values exercise that reveals what people actually want.
What You’ll Learn:
Why people in transition tend to make decisions based on past patterns.
How the mental gym practice works and why the first 30 to 60 minutes of the morning matter most.
The three foundational health levers that determine your available energy.
How the weekly reflection ritual builds discernment and removes the pressure to be perfect.
How zooming out and zooming in keeps long-term goals from becoming overwhelming.
What controlling the controllables looks like in practice during a chaotic season.
Why golf works as a setting for building confidence, trust, and business relationships.
Ideas Worth Sharing:
"It's very common that I see women making decisions based off of the patterns of their past, rather than the desired future that they're looking to create." - Marisa Messana
“There's so many things in transition that you can't control, but what are the things that you can control? That's your own energy, your mindset, and how you show up in relationships." - Marisa Messana
"If there is an area that you're deficient in or maybe you don't feel comfortable, invest your resources in getting the support that you need to get there, whether it's golf, whether it's business, whether it's your finances." - Marisa Messana
Resources:
About Our Guest:
Marisa Messana is a high-performance coach and the founder of Marigold Elite Partners, where she works with executive teams, investment firms, and business owners around the world. She spent more than 15 years training and competing at the highest level of golf, leading Clemson University's women's team to its first appearance at the D1 NCAA National Championship and earning the Elite 90 Award for the highest GPA in the championship field before competing professionally. She also completed a master's degree in Human Resources at Clemson and launched a golf instruction channel on Sports Illustrated. Her coaching model is built on three pillars and combines one-on-one work, keynotes, and workshops with golf experiences designed to build trust and connection.
Connect with Us:
If you're ready to stop avoiding your finances and start building the future you deserve, schedule a free call with me at pelicanfinancialplanning.com and let’s create your personalized financial plan together.
And if you want ongoing guidance, clarity, and confidence as you grow your wealth, subscribe to our newsletter for financial insights delivered right to your inbox.
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Read the Transcript:
Marisa Messana: One of the practices and the exercises that I am implementing in my clients every day is building their own mental gym. So every morning, we're checking into that mental gym, and based on whatever season of life it is that we're experiencing, we have certain exercises that we're doing in order to prime our mind to be able to handle whatever challenges are coming our way. So that in itself, the first 30 to 60 minutes of your morning, sets the trajectory of your entire day.
Welcome to The Wealth Development Studio. I'm your host, Genevieve George, Senior Financial Advisor and Founder of Pelican Financial Planning & Wealth. Our goal for this episode is to provide clarity about today's financial topic, inspire you to be brave with your questions, and gain confidence in your financial future. So take a deep breath, grab your favorite cup of coffee, and step into the studio. Your dose of financial empowerment begins now.
Genevieve George: Whether it's a divorce, the loss of a spouse, a career pivot, or a major life change, transition strips away the structure that we rely on to feel competent and confident. And the decisions that need to be made right in the middle of all that chaos, they are sometimes the most consequential of your life: financial decisions, legal decisions about who you wanna become.
Today, I'm sitting down with Marisa Messana, a former elite competitive golfer turned high-performance coach who works with executive teams around the world. What Marissa and I discovered when we connected is that her framework speaks directly to something that I see every day in my practice: women in transition who are fully capable of navigating all of this, but who benefit from having a system that holds them aligned when everything around them is shifting.
We are gonna talk about what it actually looks and feels like to be in this state, what it costs you, and what you can do right now, this week, to start turning it around. So Marissa, thank you so much. I'm so glad that you're here.
Marisa Messana: Thanks for having me. Excited to dive in.
Genevieve George: Yeah. I just wanna jump into it. I know you work with men and women, but we're s- we're focusing our conversation today mostly around women. But when you're working with high-achieving women who are in this period of sudden change, like what do you see? How do you approach that?
Marisa Messana: Yeah. I think that it's very common that I see women making decisions based off of the patterns of their past, rather than the desired future that they're looking to create.
So that's why I think it's really crucial for them must pause and zoom out and say, "Okay, what does this next season of my life look like? And then how can I make adjustments in the habits, behaviors, and decisions that I'm making and showing up to become that version of myself?"
Genevieve George: And that's gotta be a really difficult thing even when you're first sitting down with somebody to have that conversation, right?
I like what you said, like the stories of our past are. That applies on the money space, too. So the stories that we put on ourselves affect how we envision that future. So how do you get them to sort of reframe what that might look and sort of leave some of those things in the past?
Marisa Messana: Yeah. I mean, I think that it's just crucial that we just pause and take the time and space where we're not rushing to our next meeting. We don't have our entire calendars booked. Maybe we take a weekend where we go out into nature and just spend some time with yourself and really lean in and tune into what is it that your truest desires are.
What is it that you've always maybe imagined creating a life, “But, oh, no, that's too fun for me. That's too good for…" No, really let yourself just explore, be creative, be imaginative, what could be possible, and without any boundaries and without any limiting beliefs. And then write that down. And it may feel very uncomfortable, but that's the first step in actually creating that life for yourself.
And it is possible. Maybe not tomorrow, but over time, over lifestyle adjustments and behaviors and decisions, we can create that reality by doing it one step at a time and knowing how are we going to build in each season of our life towards that what I call the true north.
Genevieve George: I love that. I love that. And in your system, you have sort of this method of going about working with your clients. So, do you mind to maybe walk us through those pillars?
Marisa Messana: Yeah.
Genevieve George: And then we can circle back to how that applies in our conversation.
Marisa Messana: Yeah, so that could be a big question, right? What do you want for your life in this next stage? Oh my gosh, there's so many areas of your life. But we do compartmentalize that, and by looking at yourself physically, how is your health? How is your energy? Mentally, how is your mindset and your focus, as well as emotionally within yourself, as well as the relationships with other people around you, and that could be your significant other or your family, your friends, your work partners, coworkers.
There's different areas that we're looking at, and then we're getting very clear on what is that vision in each of those areas over the course of 90 days. So we're not just doing it all at one sitting and one time. We're doing this very intentionally by saying, "Okay, this week we're zooming out in this area of our life," really imagining what that could be like, and then we're zooming in and saying, "Okay, what are the behaviors, habits, and rituals that we can do in order to build towards that true north?"
Genevieve George: And so you're really looking at the individual, not just in their career, in their workplace. You're looking at the whole person…
Marisa Messana: We're looking at you as a human, mind, body, and soul.
Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I love that. One of the things that you… I'm maybe doing them out of order, but the mental resilience piece that you speak about, I think that is so important when we're talking about this group going through whatever that transition might be.
So if I was a woman working with you in a period of transition, it's hard to sort of trust yourself in that. Even when you're saying "Write down this vision," like it can just be difficult to even see that. So how do you get them to get to a place where they're really confident in their decisions and trusting themselves?
Marisa Messana: Totally. I mean, that can be very intimidating, right? Especially because I find oftentimes very high-achieving women maybe look to other people to make decisions for them, whether it is their husband, whether it is their parents. They've never really actually ask themselves what do they want, and they don't even know what they want. So that's why we go through this process of creating what that could look like, and then we test, refine, and repeat. So okay, let's say this is a goal or a fantasy that I've always had on traveling and doing this.
Okay, so let's do it, explore, and then we'll do an audit at the end of the experience on how did it go? Did we actually like that? Did we hate it? Okay, now we know that we can architect our calendar accordingly, and we don't need to plan those types of activities, right?
And so throughout the course of this process, over the 90 days, and for really, this is a ritual that I still use to this day every single week in my life, where I'm looking back and reflecting on what went well, what didn't go well, and what adjustments do I need to make moving forward.
And that in itself gave me the liberty to make these decisions, knowing I don't have to be perfect, because I'm gonna go on that Saturday or Sunday, whatever time that I block off to reflect on my last week, and I'm gonna learn from that experience. And if it went well, amazing. Let's keep doing it.
But if it didn't go well, that's okay, because now I know, and I'm gonna build my own discernment and my own trust in myself, and knowing, okay, that probably wasn't the right decision for that moment, and that's okay, because now I'm either gonna create a system or I'm gonna become more wise on how to handle that situation moving forward.
But if we don't take that time to pause, reflect, and learn from these experiences, we're gonna continue in this vicious cycle. So that's why it's so important to have that time to really pause, reflect, and then build your discernment. And what I say is that's the opportunity that we have to grow through everything that we go through, and that in itself is self-mastery.
And that's really at the end of the day, ultimately what I'm teaching through my program and the framework that I've created.
Genevieve George: So I really love what you said there because it's something that comes up in my practice a lot as well. So when I'm working with somebody on financial planning, we're talking about goals, right?
Yeah. And same thing. Sometimes it's not always easy to envision, particularly in these life transition components, right? Somebody may be going through a divorce, but I'm talking to them about, okay, how do we make these dollars work for your long-term goals?
And in that the terms that I use a lot are: this doesn't have to be perfect. We're looking for progress. And so progress over perfection comes up a lot. And I feel like that aligns with what you're saying too. Yeah. And I'm talking about it in… I see a lot of people sort of holding off on doing their financial planning or really even looking at their statements because they're afraid that it's not perfect.
And I'm like, "Okay. That's okay." "We just wanna make progress." We don't need it to be perfect like you—what you're saying too, I'm sure you're running into that a lot too. If I am your client and I'm looking and I'm saying, "Okay, I wanna do this," I might not actually take the leap because it's not all buttoned up and put together. But we're looking at making the progress and then reflecting on what that looked like, and is that really aligned with what I wanted to, wanna do long term.
Marisa Messana: Yeah. Totally. And something else that I always encourage is, okay, maybe not zooming out 10 years from now or five years from now or even three years from now, but what would be the next best step, and where are you now, and what feels a little bit better? So then what is the momentum that we can build to get there? And it will become more clear as you take action and continue to make steps, one step at a time, towards that true north.
Genevieve George: Yeah. I love that. And it is easier sometimes to just look at the shorter term than the longer term.
The conversation that I have with my husband a lot is that I'm not really worried about the long-term vision for our various businesses, mine and his, and but I'm like, "But we're always stressed about six months."
Marisa Messana: Yeah. Sure.
Genevieve George: I'm not worried about the longer term. I know it's all moving in the right direction. Yeah. But it's the next six months is stressful and scary, and it's always the next six months or whatever.
Marisa Messana: Totally, and that's something that we work on a lot and I call that zooming in and zooming out.
So let's zoom out. Where are we now? Right. And then zoom in. What can we do in our control in order to build towards there? And that's a practice in itself of zooming out and zooming in, whether that's weekly, every six months, every year. It's a practice that is so important in order to not be overwhelmed by all of the things that we're doing now while we're moving towards whatever that desired future is.
Genevieve George: And when you're working with people, particularly in these periods of big transition, which could be a number of different things, just life can feel so chaotic. So on the zooming in piece, how do you get them to sort of work through their, just sort of their daily structure, and keeping things moving forward when everything feels like a lot?
I don't know if that question even makes sense, but.
Marisa Messana: Yeah. No, totally. It can be all-consuming. We have so many spinning plates in the air, and it's like, "Oh, my gosh, where do I start? I'm just overwhelmed by all the responsibilities that we have."
So one of the practices and the exercises that I am implementing in my clients every day is building their own mental gym. So every morning, we're checking into that mental gym, and based on whatever season of life it is that we're experiencing, we have certain exercises that we're doing in order to prime our mind to be able to handle whatever challenges are coming our way.
So that in itself, the first 30 to 60 minutes of your morning, sets the trajectory of your entire day. So it's crucial that we are training our minds in order to be proactive towards whatever it is that we're navigating, rather than reactive to the inevitable chaos that comes our way, whether that's in our own lives, whether that's from social media, the news.
There's all this negative chaos, right? So we have to be proactive in making sure that we are proactive towards those goals, and again, not reactive towards whatever else is gonna happen. And then we have certain work blocks throughout the course of the day that we're making sure that we're staying super focused on what are those needle-moving tasks that we know, that we've identified we need to do in order to build towards that true north.
And so we have certain times of the day that, based on the human themselves, maybe that's in the morning is their time where they like to get that deep work done. Sometimes it's in the afternoon after they take the kids to school. So it depends on each individual client, but we understand what are those times for them, and making sure that we're protecting those times in order to make progress and starting to see momentum when it seems like there's so many things to do.
We have a never-ending, never-ever ending to-do list, right? So how can we do this?
Genevieve George: Yeah. And you say the plates spinning, right? I feel that deeply. A business owner, and a mom and a spouse, and all of these things, and then throw in all the community stuff, and just all...
In general, it's just a lot. It can be a lot.
Marisa Messana: It is.
Genevieve George: So, sort of talk me through I don't know if you can give me an example or if I can be your example or whatever. Yeah. But that mental gym. What does that real exercise look like for a working professional that just has a lot of things going on outside of their job?
Marisa Messana: Absolutely. So everyone is different, and that different exercises will resonate for them based on them as humans, as well as the season of life that we're in. So through the process that we're working through, we'll identify, okay, what are maybe those limiting beliefs that they're challenged by right now, and how can we create anchors that we're writing down or maybe we're listening to, or maybe we're envisioning in that morning gym in order to program your mind for the day.
So for example, one of the ones that I still use to this day is staying rooted, not rushed, right? Many high performers: “Go, go, go! Let's go!” Right? There's never enough time. You're always trying to have a sense of urgency to get things done. But no, how can we return to staying rooted regardless of what's going on, instead of being rushed and creating that anxiety and anxiousness that then is just this never-ending hamster wheel.
So we'll identify based on their circumstances, what are those limiting beliefs, and how can we shift those to more liberating beliefs that we're plugging into from that first 30 to 60 minutes in the morning in order to set the trajectory of the day. And then it really just becomes... It's almost like a, a lifelong meditation, I call it, right?
We get off track and then we return to that anchor that we had set in the morning, which through time we're able to build that awareness to where we can come back to center much faster, rather than doing that in the morning and then never thinking about it again until the afternoon. It's like, "Oh my gosh, I totally just got off track and ruined my whole morning."
No. We're inevitably gonna get off track, but we're training our mind to return back to center, get back on the horse, and continue through the day.
Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah, I love that. You're saying rooted, and I like, in my own business, I'm like, is that aligned with where I wanna go, right?
Because there are a lot of things that come at you, I'm sure in, in your own practice as well, is that this person wants to meet with you to talk about this product. This person wants to meet with you to talk about this. I don't need all of that, right?
One of the things I've done for myself is I need to focus on clients and prospects. And then the firm management has to still happen, but I don't necessarily need all these external things impacting that. So is that aligned with what I want to do for my firm for the benefit of my clients and my prospects, right?
Marisa Messana: Yeah, totally. And that we'll even do exercises at the end of the week that's setting what are those main tasks that we need to do throughout the course of the week in order, based on what our goals are in the season to get there, and then we'll block off those two main work blocks of deep work to make sure that you're holding yourself accountable to that, 'cause it's so easy to get off track with everything else, yes. So that is in itself why is this so valuable.
Genevieve George: Well, I think email in general, just like your emails are, like, the first thing to throw you off track, so I've heard of people kind of time blocking that too. I'm only gonna look at it at these times, not just, but it's so hard 'cause it's hitting you from all these angles. It's on your phone. It's just popping up everywhere and not all of that is urgent, right? And that's the other piece of helping to keep ourselves aligned.
Marisa Messana: I will say, there are so many other exercises.
I feel like we could take the whole episode discussing this in particular. So one thing, the anchors is super important. Breathwork, creating safety in your body, these are all things that I think many of us are struggling with just inevitably within the lives that we live. So one other thing is I do have a PDF of a whole list of exercises that I'm happy to share if anyone wants to message me.
Genevieve George: Oh, yeah.
Marisa Messana: And then I'm happy to share that PDF for them to try out which ones resonate with them.
Genevieve George: Okay. Yeah, that would be wonderful. So we talked a little bit about mental resilience, which resonates with me a lot. I think that's something that I feel I need a lot in my life because of all the different things the different noise in our lives outside of what we're trying to focus on.
But your method actually includes two other pillars, physical optimization and that emotional intelligence piece. Can you speak to the physical piece first?
Marisa Messana: Yeah. Yeah, sure. So what I always say is that physical optimization is basically your energy, right? And your energy is the capacity that you have to hold all of the responsibilities that you have.
So are you able to regulate your energy, or are you working off of 20% of your energy because you're not in good health? So we get very clear and identify, I always say there's three main levers that we're gonna look at that are just the foundational habits of your health, and that includes your sleep habits, your nutrition, and your movement.
So we'll look at, okay, where is the opportunity to pull the lever that will create the biggest return on the investment of your time, energy, and attention into these three areas. So we have different habits that we can use to implement better sleep patterns, sleep habits. There's nutrition that we can look at.
We'll have your blood work done, and we'll see the numbers on where are you deficient in different areas. And Function Health is an awesome tool that I use, and I recommend my clients using as well, to really look at the biomarkers. Instead of guessing, know your numbers. Go and look at where it is that you're feeling good and where you may be deficient.
So that's a really invaluable exercise.
Genevieve George: Know your numbers comes up in my job, too.
Marisa Messana: Yes.
Genevieve George: It's just different numbers.
Marisa Messana: Exactly. Know what you're working with, so I'm a huge advocate of that. As well as the, your movement, and that's gonna be different. Some people enjoy going on walks.
Some people like hard cardio, maybe weightlifting, and building in a routine that works well for you and your life to just get your body and energy moving throughout the course of the day.
Genevieve George: I love that. And one of the things that you incorporate into your practice, which is obviously from your own history in this is you use golf as like a vehicle to sort of address some of these items. So maybe talk to us about how you incorporate golf into working with individuals sort of in that transition period where they're somewhat rebuilding.
Marisa Messana: Yeah, totally. I mean, I think that the name of the game here is just getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
So golf is an amazing petri dish to get out onto the range. For those that maybe are avid golfers, it's still challenging. Or for those that have never touched a club, of course it's gonna be a new challenge. But one, I just love being outdoors, physically moving in a beautiful ambiance, and again, getting a little bit comfortable being uncomfortable.
So we'll go and just spend an hour on the range, and it's a really fun activity where then we're able to draw insight because so many of the patterns that we'll see on the golf course are actually the same tendencies that may be holding you back in your personal life, in your business. So then after we have that, let's say it's just an hour that we'll do some golf instruction, then we transition into the roundtable conversation, and that's where we're identifying maybe some of those areas that we became aware that could have been holding you back.
And I'll facilitate a conversation where we're diving into what are some of the challenges that you're experiencing, as well as maybe some of those triumphs that we're also celebrating together. And so creating those spaces for human connection around both the golf component and what I call the growth component has just been super valuable.
Genevieve George: I love that I have some other friends that like to do walk and talks, right? Yes. So that you're ... Same thing. We have to network all the time, but why don't we get a little exercise and fresh air while we're doing it? And incorporating the golf into that just makes it so much more fun, right?
Yeah. I mean, just different. A different experience. And I'm personally not a golfer, so even for me that just sounds kind of exciting. That I could do it and we're getting out of my comfort zone 'cause I'm not a golfer. But at the same time, like, doing it in a way that's sort of like low pressure.
Marisa Messana: Totally. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. And I think that it goes along with the challenge of playing golf and doing a new sport, but then the triumph of when you do get it right, and it's so rewarding. And that journey along the way, again, is very similar, whether it's in golf, life, business, and so many areas.
Genevieve George: Yeah. I love that. And I saw some of your testimonials, but maybe some stories where you are working with women that were incorporating that golf piece really helped them on the business side and the personal side. Yeah.
Marisa Messana: Yeah. I mean, there's one woman that, that I can think of in particular who…
It's so funny because she actually asked me to come out and help her one-on-one, and she was so intimidated to go onto the golf course. However, she knew with her industry specifically, there was so much deal flow on the golf course, so much opportunity that she was missing out on because she wasn't there.
And when I saw her, I was like, "You are totally capable and competent of going out on the course." She actually had hired an individual coach, I think it was in Texas where she lived locally, where I met her. And she had hired somebody to get her competent enough to get out there, but she didn't have the belief in herself.
So one, I think it comes down to having that belief in yourself. And two, applauding her that she went ahead and got a coach. So if there is an area that you're deficient in or maybe you don't feel comfortable, invest your resources in getting the support that you need to get there, whether it's golf, whether it's business, whether it's your finances.
That's a huge thing that I think sometimes people feel a little bit intimidated or a resistance in asking for help and investing their resources when they are struggling, and I think that's so important. And so just a great lesson to be learned.
Genevieve George: Well, and I think the confidence that you're building there can just be taken to so many other places, right?
Totally. More confidence in the decisions you make in your personal life as well as in your professional life, and I think that's an incredible tool. And it just sounds like... Honestly, it just sounds like such a great way to do the things that we already have to do, right? Yeah. Now you can incorporate this sport into the networking that you're gonna do anyways, and it just, it's probably building much deeper relationships, 'cause you're spending a lot more time sort of one-on-one with the individuals that you're golfing with.
Marisa Messana: Oh, yeah. I mean, golf is an incredible platform in that if you are going onto the golf course, whether you decide to go and play 18 holes or even if it's just one hour, it's such a great opportunity to just get to know someone as a human and being able to ask more personal questions that you're not really gonna ask someone across the table from them at a desk or even at a dinner party, right?
But because the ambiance is just more casual and relaxed, you're able to dive into these questions, which, again, I'm facilitating as well with clients on the golf course that are very intentional to understand who they are, what do they care about, and then that way you can actually help create solutions, whether it's in the context of business or life.
Genevieve George: And then how do you tie that back to your third pillar on the emotional intelligence side?
Marisa Messana: Yeah. So the emotional intelligence pillar is maybe one of my favorites, and there's a lot of different areas within emotional intelligence that we address. And first off, I think even for myself personally, what I realized is that when I was competing and playing golf professionally, I had this internal dissonance of what I actually cared about, what I valued, and my values, as well as the life that I was living.
And so because of this internal dissonance, I was emotionally feeling unregulated.
So step one was becoming very clear of what do I actually value, and then two, making sure that my commitments aligned with the behavior and actions that I needed to do to create that life. So that ultimately led to my transition out of golf, because I realized that this goal that I set for myself when I was eight years old to play a professional golfer no longer really aligned with my skills and interests and the things that I wanted to leverage in order to serve the world and challenge myself and contribute to other people.
So it's, again, getting familiar with yourself and knowing yourself well enough emotionally in order to make those decisions in order to build a life that ultimately you feel good about. And then once you're able to feel good about yourself, then you can have strong relationships with those that are around you.
Genevieve George: And how do you help the people that you're working with sort of see that? Because that as your third pillar, it's so important, but at this period of time, in this transition it's when we need it the most, but we feel like it's maybe the most fractured depending upon what that transition is related to.
So how do you help your clients to rebuild that and to get that? I mean, we talk a lot about the competence and confidence and to get the confidence in that intelligence so that they can make those really well-informed decisions in their business or life.
Marisa Messana: Yeah. So we have an exercise that we'll go through in identifying your values, but that's not just a one and one exercise and then done. We pressure test that. So then when we go through our reflections every week, we're building discernment on, okay, we say that we value this, but again, is this what our behaviors are actually telling us?
And do we like those types of activities? And then we'll start to recognize patterns on, oh, actually, I really enjoy this more than this. I thought I wanted autonomy, but I would prefer connection over autonomy. I said that I wanted autonomy; however, I found that the times that I was most joyful was when I was connecting with other humans, so I actually need more human connection.
So it's sometimes that there's that you're unaware of actually what you truly value until you put the pen to paper and start documenting those patterns to then be able to understand what you truly value over time.
Genevieve George: Yeah, and I'm seeing a pattern here that we're stress testing all of these things, so it's not just like a one-time exercise, which I think is really powerful, but that's also how I approach my practice, too. When we talk about financial planning, it's not... It is at the moment; it's the moment in time, but it should be something that we're revisiting because life changes. Just like for your clients, right?
They're coming to you potentially because of a life transition, but it's gonna continue to change. Like every day is gonna be something new, right? So, it's really powerful to have that as the way that you're practicing to keep circling back and stress testing to make sure that those values are still what are most important to you.
Marisa Messana: Exactly. '
Genevieve George: Cause maybe they change, and that's okay.
Marisa Messana: Exactly.
Genevieve George: I love that. And one of the things that I've run into over time, particularly with women that are in transition, there's sort of just this thought of "I just gotta get through this and then I will focus on that."
So how do you address that, like with the people that you're... I mean, obviously they're coming to you 'cause they're trying to not just get through. They're trying to actually focus on the next steps. But how do you approach that when you sort of see that happening?
Marisa Messana: Totally. I mean, you get through this by doing the work, and so by leaning into what I always say is controlling the controllables. There's so many things in transition that you can't control, but what are the things that you can control? That's your own energy, your mindset, and how you show up in relationships.
So that's where we dive in, and getting very clear on where are the improvements that we need to make in your health in order to have more energy, because you can control that. What does your mindset need to be that is currently holding you back, which you have the power to shift in order to get through this transition?
As well as what do you need to do for yourself in these in order to show up for your relationship? So this is the work that we can control and that we need to take agency and actually taking action on in order to get through these most challenging moments.
Genevieve George: Yeah. I love that. And so do you find that once, when you've h- had that conversation with somebody that they're somewhat more receptive to understanding like, no, this is not something that you just wait out?
You have to actually like exercise and practice this.
Marisa Messana: Yeah, totally. And then all my clients are saying, "Oh my gosh, I just feel so happy." And I'm like, "That's because you're doing the work." It takes work. And it is hard in the early stages, but we always know choose your hard, right?
It's hard not to go to the gym. It's hard to go to the gym. But at least if you're going to the gym, you're building towards that version of yourself that you wanna become, that you can be so proud of. And eventually, it does become fun over time.
Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah. And not choosing or not doing something is a choice as well, right? That's a good one. And we're just choosing something different. Yeah. Like ignoring your physical health. Yeah. Ignoring your financial health. Yeah. That's a choice. And so we're just trying to help make different choices.
Marisa Messana: Yes. I always say there's one client that we always use the anchor. That, it actually is one of our anchors.
Genevieve George: Yeah.
Marisa Messana: Choices and consequences. So becoming aware of with every choice there is a consequence and you can choose that.
Genevieve George: I love that. I love that. And in your practice, you talk about like creating a personal operating system.
So do you mind to just expand on that a little bit more? I think we've sort of talked around it, but I wanna like put that title to it and hear your explanation of that.
Marisa Messana: Yeah, exactly. So this personal operating system is where we do zoom out in every pillar, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
And then again, within that pillar, there's different types of emotions that we're working towards, both intrinsically as well as with others, that we're unpacking, again, what is that true north of what we wanna build towards, and then what are the behaviors, rituals, and routines that we need to build in order to get there.
And so the real purpose of this per- personal operating system is really just to simplify your life and streamline everything to be working cohesively together instead of feeling so fragmented with... I always say we have 90 million open tabs in our mind, right? So how can we just simplify and streamline everything to where we know where we're going and we're taking action to build that.
Genevieve George: I love that. I love that. And it’s such a helpful way to create structure around what can feel so unstructured honestly.
Marisa Messana: Yeah.
Genevieve George: And to somebody listening today that is m- maybe feeling like they're in this transition what are you telling them to do? What can they do today to help themselves?
Marisa Messana: Yeah, I mean, that's a broad question because it is very different for everyone. Yes. So that's why we are working one-on-one to really identify where is it that they are now and where is it that they wanna go. So the exercise that I always encourage you to do, again, is to really just sit down, get quiet with yourself, and zoom out and say, "Where do I wanna go?"
And rate yourself on a scale of one to 10 in all of these areas, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And wherever you feel like you have the biggest gap in where you are now versus where you wanna go, that's where we dive in and think about what are the actionable things that you can do in order to build towards where you wanna go.
Genevieve George: I love that. And you're right, it is different for every... Somebody might be coming to you because they're in a career transition rather than something traumatic like a divorce or a loss of a loved one or something like that. So, for myself, I feel like a career transition has happened and it's something that where I really did have to think, "Okay, what do I want for that future so that I can like really sit down and play that out." Yeah. So now I'm gonna practice a little bit better weekly stress test of how did it go and what what needs to be adjusted. I think that's really powerful.
Marisa Messana: And it's always remembering how do you eat the elephant? It's one bite at a time. And so again, to your point earlier of progress over perfection, this isn't gonna happen overnight, but how can we build momentum by small wins and acknowledge those wins? Be proud of yourself. When you do something at the end of the day, we stack our wins, and we don't go to bed until we've acknowledged the win of the day that we had created based on whatever it is that we're working towards.
So that habit in itself is massive in creating momentum during times that you feel stuck.
Genevieve George: So I love that so much and when you're talking about stacking those wins, it makes me think about the earlier part of your career. So maybe talk to us about how you took your experience as a collegiate and then a professional golfer and transitioned into this type of work and how that all kind of relates to one another.
Marisa Messana: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it really came down to working on my own performance for decades. I mean, again, I mentioned that I think I was eight years old when I said that I wanted to be a professional golfer. So it was over decades of working with world-class performance coaches on my own performance that I learned all of these systems, rituals, and routines in order to show up strong on game day and be able to perform.
So it really is a compilation of various things that I've tested and have implemented in my own life that now I love being able to share with others in order to support them.
Genevieve George: And I love that so much because you had such a different experience, 'cause you experienced that coaching and training in the sport.
But it does apply to the business world and it does apply to our personal operating system.
Marisa Messana: Totally. And you know what's funny— Yes, exactly. And I think what I find most people don't even realize is, as a professional athlete, yes, you may need to work on your own performance as an athlete to show up and compete, but I was also n- managing the entire business of my career.
So I was raising capital in the beginning stages of my career, negotiating my sponsorship contracts, travel, my booking, my training. There's so many different aspects that it is a business that you're running, and that's why it's so directly correlated to all of the responsibilities that these executives are navigating, and that how can we create a system to support them in every area of their life so that they don't drop the spinning plate out of all of the spinning plates that are in the air.
Genevieve George: I love that so much. And when did you, in that process of managing the business side of your sport and your career, when did you realize that this was something other people needed?
Marisa Messana: I think what would happen was that I got to a point where I realized, yes, I had all of the external accolades, right?
Academically, athletically. However, there intrinsically, I didn't feel as good as I looked externally, internally. And then when I started having conversations with all these executives on the course, I noticed that they had the same issues, where they were complaining about their personal life and their health and their relationships.
And I was like, wow, I've created solutions within my own life because I too was navigating these challenges throughout the course of my career, and it was directly correlated to the challenges that they were also navigating that I had created solutions for myself. So that's why it was just so rewarding to make that transition and say, "Hey, I also had those challenges, and these are the solutions that I created through this program. I'm happy to help you as well."
Genevieve George: And how do people find you to work with you through this program? And you said you primarily do one-on-one coaching, but I know you do some public speaking as well.
Marisa Messana: Yeah, yeah.
Genevieve George: But how do we find you?
Marisa Messana: Thank you. I appreciate that. So I am most active on LinkedIn and Instagram, so feel free to follow me, reach out.
I'm always posting content and sharing resources. And also, don't hesitate to send me a message. Everyone knows me as the question queen, so I love asking questions, and I love getting questions so that I could support other people. Whether you do wanna work together or whether you just have questions on certain topics that came up and you'd like some more insights, I'm more than happy to share and support.
Genevieve George: And like I said in the beginning, we primarily based our conversation on women in transition. But I know that you work with both men and women and in the individual setting and the corporate setting. So I just wanna make sure that's clear. Oh, thank you. That anybody can come work with you.
But we spoke about it a little bit, but I think your programs are really unique in how you incorporate the golf into some of your practices. So maybe expand on that a little bit more so that people know what they're coming to you for is very unique and can be really fulfilling and interesting all at the same time.
Marisa Messana: I appreciate that. Thank you. Yes. So what I call my Golf and Growth program is a program where I'm coming into these large groups, and I'm either doing a keynote, a workshop, or even roundtable discussions over these growth-oriented topics.
And so those include your energy, your mindset, and your relationships in order to show up strong behind the scenes as well as in whatever role it is professionally that you're building towards. And then the golf component could be 18 holes on the golf course, nine holes, or even an hour range clinic where I'm coming in and sharing instruction, I'm sharing stories, and we're having a great time in order to develop relationships, whether it's within the internal team as well as external stakeholders that maybe we're using this tool as an exercise for business development.
So the second program that I had mentioned briefly in our conversation is probably my favorite program, and that's Range Tips and Talks, where again, we're just facilitating one hour of golf instruction, and then we transition into those roundtable conversations, which are just super powerful in order to, again, either unpack those shared challenges or shared interests of the group and really develop great relationships and insights.
Genevieve George: And in those one-on-one discussions over time we kept coming back to this reflecting on the progress, right? So are you helping to facilitate those reflections, like to create that practice, like just like in your golf you have to create things to make them habits, right?
Marisa Messana: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So what we'll do is that over the course of 90 days, again, we'll zoom out and really get very clear on what are those, those goals that we're working towards, and then we'll zoom in and identify the habits, rituals, and systems that we need to implement into our week, every day, every week, every month, depending on the cadence, in order to build towards that true north.
And then at the end of the week, the client individually reflects on what went well, what didn't go well, and then what they learned from that. And then we're coming together in order to discuss that and create solutions on, okay, what solutions maybe do we need to adjust for next week and moving forward.
And then that system in itself just compounds over time, so where then after those 90 days initially, we have a really strong foundation, and then we can transition into monthly support where then maybe we're only meeting once a month or maybe twice a month after we have that initial 90 days of meeting every week to really implement these systems.
Genevieve George: Yeah. And really creating the habit of those systems. And so then it's, like you said, the... it's like the physical piece, going to the gym, exercising, the mental piece, exercising those practices and then incorporating the emotional piece. I just love that.
I'm so excited for what you're doing with your clients and with the individuals that you're impacting, and I love how you bring in your golf expertise to help build that confidence with the individuals that you're working with. I think that's really just so unique and interesting and just an incredible tool too 'cause now, like I said I'm not really a golfer. So what if I could do that? Yeah. That opens up the doors to all kinds of other activities that I can do with individuals.
Marisa Messana: Totally. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much.
Genevieve George: Yeah. Anything that you wanna share of closing thoughts or anything for the listeners?
Marisa Messana: No, I think we covered everything, and like I said, I'm always happy to support, so don't hesitate to reach out if there's any questions or any way that I could be a resource. I'm more than happy to moving forward.
Genevieve George: Yeah. You called yourself the question queen. I like that too. I encourage a lot of questions from me too.
I'm like, "No silly questions." No. And particularly when we're talking about people's finances I really want you to know what you have and how it's working. So please ask all the questions. But now you're talking about the whole picture. You should definitely be asking the questions.
Marisa Messana: Oh, exactly. I love it.
Genevieve George: Yeah. I love that. Well, thank you so much for joining me today, and I'm looking forward to getting this out and having that resource for people to check in on with you to get some other tips and tricks along the way and hopefully work with you.
That's it for today's episode of The Wealth Development Studio. Remember, financial clarity is powerful. Do you need help with your financial plan? Go to pelicanfinancialplanning.com to schedule a call with me. Until next time.
