Episode 22: The Fulfillment Formula: How High Performers Get Unstuck at Work and with Their Money
What happens when you have done everything right and you are clearly talented… but you’re still stuck?
Today I’m joined by Jackie Roby, Executive Leadership Advisor and founder of Inspired Journey Consulting, who spent two decades inside performance-driven organizations watching this play out. In this episode, Jackie breaks down how “palatability culture” turns being easy to work with into a career ceiling, as well as how her Fulfillment Formula helps with recognizing your patterns and choosing instead of reacting.
Listen in as she explains what you can do to uncover the narratives behind your decisions and what changes when you lead from a regulated place. You’ll come away with a better understanding of how the patterns that limit your career also shape your financial decisions and a one-week assignment you can start today to get yourself unstuck.
What You’ll Learn:
What "palatability culture" is and how it quietly stalls talented careers.
How the Fulfillment Formula's five steps create awareness and calm the nervous system.
Why self-awareness is far rarer than people assume, and how to build it.
How to run a "thought audit" to catch the narratives holding you back.
Why regulated leadership outperforms leadership driven by insecurity.
How the patterns that limit your career also shape your financial decisions.
What it means to succeed without disappearing at work.
Ideas Worth Sharing:
"Our brain does not know the difference between an unread email and being chased by a mountain lion." - Jackie Roby
"There was a study done that said 95% of people think they're self-aware, but in reality, only 5% to 10% of people are." - Jackie Roby
"Your busyness isn't proof of your value; it's proof that the system is broken." - Jackie Roby
Resources:
About Our Guest:
Jackie Roby is an executive leadership advisor and the founder of Inspired Journey Consulting, where she partners with people-first organizations to accelerate C-suite readiness in high-potential talent. After two decades inside performance-driven organizations, she built her practice around the capabilities technical skill alone does not cover: executive presence, strategic communication, and decision-making under ambiguity. Her work spans corporate leadership development programs, one-on-one executive coaching, and international speaking and facilitation. Jackie is the author of the forthcoming book Palatable, Profitable, and Dying Inside.
Connect with Us:
If you're ready to stop avoiding your finances and start building the future you deserve, schedule a free call with me at pelicanfinancialplanning.com and let’s create your personalized financial plan together.
And if you want ongoing guidance, clarity, and confidence as you grow your wealth, subscribe to our newsletter for financial insights delivered right to your inbox.
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Read the Transcript:
Jackie Roby: It is called Palatable, Profitable, and Dying Inside. And the premise is for those of us high performers who learn to be easy to work with, super palatable, put the smile on, and take on all the extra work, and the destruction, honestly, that happens for the person and for the organization. So it's a way of succeeding without disappearing.
Welcome to The Wealth Development Studio. I'm your host, Genevieve George, Senior Financial Advisor and Founder of Pelican Financial Planning & Wealth. Our goal for this episode is to provide clarity about today's financial topic, inspire you to be brave with your questions, and gain confidence in your financial future. So take a deep breath, grab your favorite cup of coffee, and step into the studio. Your dose of financial empowerment begins now.
Genevieve George: We're taught that hard work gets rewarded. Put in the hours, prove yourself, and eventually the recognition comes. But what happens when you've done all that, you're clearly talented, and you still feel stuck? That question doesn't just show up in somebody's career; it shows up in their finances, too. I see it all the time in my own work.
Someone's income has grown, their responsibilities have grown, and so has their ability to make bigger, more intentional decisions with their money. The work I love most is helping them update their financial plan to match the person that they've actually become. Today's guest has spent her career studying the gap in leadership.
After two decades inside performance-driven organizations, she noticed that people who earned trust fastest weren't always the ones who advanced. The ones who got promoted were the strategic thinkers, not just the hard workers. We're gonna talk about what keeps talented people stuck, how to lead and make decisions from clarity instead of survival mode, and why that same shift matters just as much for your money as it does for your career.
She also has a book coming out on exactly this topic, so I'm excited to talk about that as well. So please welcome Jackie Roby, executive leadership advisor and founder of Inspired Journey Consulting. Jackie, thank you so much for being here. Even just that intro really speaks to something that I've experienced myself of just feeling like I'm doing all the things that I'm supposed to be doing, and I feel stuck.
There's no path forward, not, not where I'm at right now, but in, in my previous experience. And maybe just speak to that, like, where that shows up and how you're addressing that with your clients that you work with.
Jackie Roby: Genevieve, thank you. It was interesting as you were speaking to it, it made me think about what you do as well.
And we get to this point where we've really just been trained to work hard and move forward, right? Working hard is what's gonna pay off in the long run. Work hard, get results. And yeah, to a certain extent, it's great to have a good work ethic, and we're not saying don't have a good work ethic. But what's going on deeper underneath is the inability to shift into something different, and that something different, that next level, feels unsafe because we're still operating in that cycle.
If you are an incredibly hard worker, yeah, you're likely to get promoted to a certain point, and then it stops. And that's really frustrating, because what else are you supposed to do?
Genevieve George: Yeah, and it leaves you really thinking like, "If this is as far as I can go, am I supposed to do something completely different, or am I just, is this it? Like, this is where I'm at forever?"
Jackie Roby: Right. “Why am I being seen this way?” And oftentimes you're not even thinking about doing something completely different because then what? Right? There becomes the conversation in your head was, "Well, then I'm gonna have to go back to school, and I'm gonna have to get another degree. I have no experience. I'm gonna have to take a pay cut."
We have all of these narratives, and, like, let's be real, historically, those things did happen, and the world has changed so much, we have the opportunity to change with it. But in order to get to the unstuck piece, we have to feel safe within ourselves.
And that is a lot of the work that I do, is helping high performers to elevate and be prepped for C-suite. And let's be real, this can be at whatever level they are. To get to that next shift in how you show up, you need to feel safe to let go. I don't say let go easily. I think it's thrown around.
But the way I picture it is we are holding onto the edge of a cliff, and underneath we might be with some fellow travelers who have jumped off and are now swimming in this pool of goodness below. But we are still hanging onto that cliff, and while we've seen it happen, I don't know. You don't just shock yourself and go.
That doesn't feel good. It's one finger at a time to get yourself there so that it feels good and you can go and enjoy that swim.
Genevieve George: Right? And you mentioned in there narratives, right? And that's something that comes up in, in my space as well, is that these, these stories that we tell ourselves or that we carry with us from our families or our experiences really impact the way we show up with our finances and the financial decisions that we make.
And it sounds like that's also applicable to what you're seeing, is that these experiences or stories that we've told ourselves apply in the workplace to those high achievers.
Jackie Roby: 100%. And if you think about the money aspect of it, how that comes into play with each decision that they're making in their workday.
If I say something that's different than what my boss is saying, does that put my job at risk?
Genevieve George: Right. Right.
Jackie Roby: Does that change my opportunity for promotion? Do I end up on the lower point of that scale during evaluation time of the people on that matrix who don't get a higher raise? I need that raise.
Genevieve George: Right. Right. And but you're saying because I was non-conformative to the boss's opinions, I might be thinking that I'm knocked down because I've challenged that person instead of just going with the flow, right?
Jackie Roby: Exactly.
Genevieve George: And in some cases, that challenge is necessary for growth for myself and for the business, but it's still uncomfortable.
Jackie Roby: Exactly.
Genevieve George: And it still has an impact on what we're talking about here.
Jackie Roby: Yes. So all of these decisions become muddled into one where you're choosing what I call palatability culture. That's what's being built within an organization, is palatability culture.
You're being easy to work with. You're a hard worker, you're a team player, and you're really good in that spot, and so then you're just placed there to stay in that spot.
Genevieve George: ‘Cause now you know you can give it to that person over there, and they're just gonna do it, and they're, they're happy to do it, right?
And that's the persona that that person has put out, and that is helpful to the leadership as well, right?
Jackie Roby: Exactly.
Genevieve George: And they're not motivated to promote them out of that 'cause they need that skill.
Jackie Roby: So there's all of these external benefits that are happening, and for a certain amount of time, they benefited you as well.
They benefited the high performer. But then it stopped. But you're still doing it because it's now just built in, essentially, to your wiring.
And it has to be rewired. That's what we need to do. And I loved how you spoke about finances and intentional choices, because this is a part of it as well, is making intentional choices, feeling okay to make intentional choices, right?
You can decide, "I'm not gonna challenge my leader on this one thing," but it's a choice rather than an immediate reaction. That's what it gets to. That's what we work towards. And it's part of the process of getting unstuck.
Genevieve George: I know you have something that's called the fulfillment formula. Is that a part of, like, the program that you go through?
Like, let's pick on this individual. They are high performer, but maybe a people pleaser, and you're going through this program with them. That's your fulfillment formula, correct?
Jackie Roby: Yeah, absolutely. So the fulfillment formula is there for an understanding of what you need in the moment.
Genevieve George: Okay.
Jackie Roby: Right? It's a five-step formula, and it is giving you the space for awareness while also regulating your nervous system. This is a big piece of it that gets overlooked. We are constantly, especially as the world is moving faster and faster, operating in survival mode. Our brain does not know the difference between an unread email and being chased by a mountain lion.
We just don't, and we're reacting the exact same way. And so it takes effort on our part to create that change within our body, within our brain. So that we can show up differently.
We also look at seeing the pattern, but you can’t—again, you have to calm yourself to look at it, to see the pattern, to ask yourself, "Is this what I want? What's actually happening here? Am I being disciplined in this moment, or am I being given feedback that's important? Or is it feedback that seems a bit biased and maybe it's not something that I take with me. I can hear it, but it doesn't stay with me."
These are all decisions we get to make when we are present. And it's really difficult to do when all of this is coming at us, and we're consistently dysregulated.
Genevieve George: Right. Yes. It's hard to be present when I feel like the mountain lion is chasing me for those emails.
Jackie Roby: Exactly. And it happens not just to the high performer, but it's happening to the people above them, the people below them, the people in charge.
And when you're operating from that space, it creates insecure leadership, which I know so many of us can speak to the bad manager we've had. I can't call them a leader in good integrity. But we can speak to that person, we know that it was coming from a space of insecurity. They may never admit it, but that's the truth.
So the entire aspect is getting above that, getting to a point where you're coming from a space of confidence, and you can figure out what matters in this moment.
I remember in a difficult position I was in with a difficult leader, and my colleague said to me, "Is it gonna matter in five weeks, five months, five years?” And I really, at the moment, I was like, "Of course, it is."
In reality…
Genevieve George: Right ... it's like, I don't know.
Jackie Roby: But what matters in this moment? Is this person, where are they in your life and your energy, where you're giving your energy? We have limited time, limited energy. How much does this moment, this sentence, this topic actually matter in the scheme of things?
Genevieve George: ‘Cause what you're saying really resonates with me. But, um, you know, from our previous conversations, I know you work with different sort of, uh, demographics throughout the businesses that you’re working with. Do you see that the younger generation is doing that less than maybe my generation?
Like, they're able to just say like, "No, no, no, I'm not gonna let that bother me. It's not gonna even bother me five minutes from now, let alone five months from now, where I'll carry it forever.”
Jackie Roby: Yeah, so I think they're processing it differently.
I don't know if they're letting it go easily, but I don't believe they're taking it to heart in the same way. Because we have built for them a system that we wanted and needed. It's just that we're not necessarily living it ourselves.
Genevieve George: We're not exercising it. We just built it for some deals.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. Yeah, like this is your playground. Enjoy, and I will stay on the hot cement barefoot with no water.
Genevieve George: Yeah.
Jackie Roby: You know? No, no comfort.
When we don't have to do that, and we haven't let go of it because we've spent so much time being conditioned in it.
Genevieve George: And what does that look like, like when you're working through that fulfillment formula to like sort of identify those opportunities for, for the individuals that you're consulting with?
Is that like a one-time exercise, an exercise over a number of months? Break that down for us, like how you're digging into this to help that high achiever get to that next level.
Jackie Roby: Oh, yeah. No, this is a daily practice.
Genevieve George: Okay.
Jackie Roby: This is something that happens all the time, and like it might not be I'm gonna use all five steps every day.
But it's what can I take that I need in this minute? If I've got a big decision, yeah, I think I should spend some time with that. Right? And get through, give myself the time and energy required to evaluate something.
But we focus on… first and foremost, I always talk about getting things out of your head.
We got a lot of nonsense that goes on up there. And if anything, take two minutes and write whatever is going on in your head. Write it out, tear up the paper. People get really strange about journaling. There's all sorts of rules that are created, and then there's guilt and shame around it.
“I got the notebook. Or I don't have the notebook. Or I tried to do it every day.”
Who cares? No. Get it out of your head. I don't care if it's on Post-It, I don't care if you can read it. Get it out of your head because it is... All it's doing is—
Genevieve George: Taking up space.
Jackie Roby: Yeah, exactly. It's taking up space, and it's getting deeper and deeper, so it's becoming a belief instead of something random just happening up there. So get the nonsense out of your head.
Genevieve George: I do like that you said it doesn't have to be, like, structured. 'Cause I've heard over the years, "Oh, like, you should journal," and that just makes me, that just turns me, like, completely off. So, like, no, I don't have time. Right? Right. But just a quick brain dump onto a piece of paper that doesn't need to be held onto is a whole different story.
Jackie Roby: I moved across the country 21 years ago, and I had boxes of journals. Did I ever reread them? No, I did not. So eventually, one day I spent time tearing them up. I don't know why. I think someone's gonna scan them and it's gonna be a disaster, but…
Genevieve George: They're gonna make a book.
Jackie Roby: Whatever it is, I tore them all up.
You don't need it. If you're somebody who likes to reread, maybe. But for me, it doesn't feel as useful. It's more about getting it out of your system so that you can move forward instead of retracing it. It's like, think about venting. I'm really anti-venting. I think you can have a moment with your person to do it, but the more that you retell that story, the less likely you are to create any positive change.
Genevieve George: Interesting. So just get it out and move on.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. You can't get to the how until you get out the nonsense that's happening, right? And regulate so that you can see new possibility. And I talk about regulating, and I'll explain. Mindfulness techniques come into this. So one of the simplest things is three deep breaths.
Everybody has connection to their breath. And what happens is it calms your nervous system; it takes the neural pathway that is used to going towards the amygdala—the fight, flight, freeze, appease—nd instead it brings it back to center, and it starts to build a new pathway towards calm, wisdom, innovation, curiosity, productivity.
We are stronger or better everything when we're regulated. So that's always a part of the process. And then we can start to examine and look for patterns. We get distracted by what doesn't matter. Everybody knows that when it comes to doom scrolling.
Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Jackie Roby: And if you think about, as I'm sure you can imagine, when you're working with your clients and they're looking at their finances and where they're spending, what matters most versus what's distracting them.
Genevieve George: Yeah.
Jackie Roby: When you set a goal, when you prioritize what's important to you, what's most important to you, you can have a lot of things that are important to you, and it's not about starving the dopamine, right? But it is about saying, "You know what? I want to feel like my ideas are valued at work."
So how do I get there? Kind of reverse-engineer. Is what I'm doing right now supporting that feeling?
Genevieve George: Maybe an unnamed example that you can use to sort of put that in, like, real terms.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So for example, a client of mine had a team member that would show up late to every meeting, every single meeting without fail. And it was just, like, bubbling up. It felt like disrespect.
Why wouldn't you treat me with respect? You're showing up late to my meeting every single time. Meanwhile, this person was a high performer and one of the most trusted associates, but yet it was creating this narrative of this person doesn't respect me.
So looking at it, it was understanding: is that narrative real? Is this worth a conversation?
Genevieve George: Yeah. Are we just having a disconnect, a miscommunication, right?
Jackie Roby: Right.
Genevieve George: And you're saying that, and I'm, like, spinning out on both sides of that. Like, this person is the high achiever is working their tail off, and this other person is like sees that work, but also sees the disrespect of not being on time, but they're maybe not communicating well.
Jackie Roby: Exactly. What's happening that is getting in the way of showing up on time? Is it dropping a kid off to daycare? Is it a project that they took on to help a colleague that has another call that runs over or, you know, makes them lose track of time? Is it, you know, something with neurodivergence that they need different levels of support for the timing of this meeting?
Are there other things happening? We cannot get to a space of curiosity though if all we're saying is, "This is disrespect."
So it becomes, do you wanna get curious and have a conversation, or do you just wanna go, "You know what? They're pretty freaking awesome. Five minutes is not the end of the world."
Genevieve George: Right. Now, in that situation, oh man, I would wanna have the conversation, but is that maybe not what you would encourage 'cause they're bringing all these other benefits in. I'm just like a talker. I would wanna talk that out, but I feel what you're saying is like five minutes is not the end of the world.
Jackie Roby: I think it's a personal decision. I'm not gonna say don't have the conversation or have the conversation. I always think communication first leads to better results.
Genevieve George: It's better than me as that person expecting that person to be on time, mad that they're not on time, and probably like building that into some—just like you said, if we leave it in there.
Jackie Roby: Yeah.
Genevieve George: It builds into a belief.
Jackie Roby: And that shifts the relationship, and the entire dynamic of the team can change. The productivity can change, and how that person, you know, my client, would show up as a leader will change. Because all of a sudden it's like there's resentment that's being built.
So looking at that and saying, "What is it worth to you in this moment?" And examine the different pathways. Because we have choices, and that's a lot of the things that get lost along the way. My leader was referencing a high achiever, a high performer, and she herself is a high performer.
And we carry these different expectations of what other people should do based on what we would do when we see it differently. We can't see it any other way, though, if we're in our own way.
Genevieve George: Right. Right. That resonates a lot, though, because throughout my career, it is hard to say, like, "No, here's how I would… It's not done the way I would've done it," to get to the same end product. I have a friend that really hates this adage, but like, more than one way to skin a cat, right? Like, so it's a exercise to just, like, okay, that was your way of getting there, and that's okay, right?
Jackie Roby: Yeah. Absolutely. You're allowed to have multiple pathways, because communication, I think, is the number one tool, and how are you communicating? Are you showing up with resentment, judgment, expectations, unwritten expectations? Are there rules that you're not sharing? Or are you feeling good and asking questions 'cause you really wanna know the answer? And make sure everybody's aligned with the same goals.
Genevieve George: Now, I'm so curious because a lot of what you talk about is, like, working with the individuals to recognize the patterns in their behavior that may be not helping them to elevate at the pace that they would like to. But our way of doing things has been our way of doing things for as long as we've been in the working world, so it is difficult to change those patterns.
So how do you work... Yeah, I know you said it was a daily exercise, but how do you work, like, once you've recognized it, how do you work to sort of chip away and change the behaviors to be more strategic?
Jackie Roby: So the more that you work with this practice, with the fulfillment formula, you become more aware. And that's how—
Genevieve George: Once the pattern is recognized, you can't unsee it.
Jackie Roby: Exactly. Exactly. And there was a study done that said 95% of people think they're self-aware, but in reality, only 5 to 10% of people are.
Genevieve George: Okay.
Jackie Roby: Right? So think about that to start off with. You become one of the elite when you spend time learning how to be self-aware of what's going on within you.
So let's say we're doing a thought audit. Okay? That could be a real-life day-to-day thing. You have a client who says, "I have no understanding of why when I go to these meetings, I can't bring up the ideas that I had when I walked in the door. Or I say it, and nobody listens, and then someone else says it, and they listen."
So let's look at what you're telling yourself.
Genevieve George: They started on the negative. Nobody's listening.
Jackie Roby: Yeah.
Genevieve George: They don't wanna hear what I have to say.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. And so maybe there's an exercise that we'll do. All right, I want you to try and catch your negative thoughts. Check in with yourself, set a little alarm every hour if you can to remind yourself what was that thought? And write it down.
Put it in a note in your phone. Again, this is just for you. What was the thought? See if you can track those. And we'll do it for a day. See how it goes. See if you could do it for a week. Let's just track what you're saying to yourself.
Genevieve George: And then when you go back and reread it, these are things you would never say to somebody else.
Jackie Roby: Or you had no idea you were even saying to yourself in the first place. Like, you might have a fleeting moment of, “Oh, I suck," right? Or, "Oh, I don't know if I can do this." But our our thoughts are living in our subconscious. Most of them are. We're receiving so much information, 11 billion pieces of information a second.
We're receiving so much, we can only process 40 of them. Our brains are working really fast.
So we don't know everything that's happening. So if we can bring some of this to the light, you can start to see the patterns and go, okay, it's not your fault. Like, this is not a blame game. It's not your fault.
It is understanding what's happening to then go, all right, let's figure out what I'm telling myself, and can I now tell myself something different? What do I wanna tell myself instead? How do I wanna show up in this space? What does that look like?
So that's a simple beginning practice of understanding and again, it has to be the self-awareness to… that's established in order to continue a practice and move forward.
Genevieve George: Now, particularly with the stat you provided about people who believe they're self-aware versus actually being self-aware, it must make for some really interesting conversations when you're working with individuals because as they're talking, you are recognizing the patterns potentially before they are, right?
Yeah. And so how, like, how do you navigate that to just share with somebody something that you're seeing as or you're kind of picking up as they're talking that they might not be ready to see and recognize?
Jackie Roby: Yeah. It's a dance.
Genevieve George: It's a little bit of therapy, I think.
Jackie Roby: Yeah, it's a dance. It's funny because I always feel like I'm sweetness, right? And what I've actually been told is I'm very direct without sugarcoating, but in a way that is kind. So that's a new, I don't know, I guess that's, that's great.
Genevieve George: And I'm also quite direct, so you're in good company, Jackie. Hopefully people think it's kind. I don't know.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. I mean, there's things that need to be understood in order to make change.
Genevieve George: Right.
Jackie Roby: Understanding where the person is, seeing the patterns and, and asking the questions that can help them to see things, right? That really is a big piece of it is how do they start to see it differently? And what does that exploration really look like, and how do social constructs play into it?
So, for example, I did a survey. I'll do surveys prior to going into speaking engagements, like in workshop scenarios.
Genevieve George: To get a feel for where you're going, who you're presenting to and what the tone is in the room before you get there. It's probably helpful.
Jackie Roby: And one of the questions was around whether you believe slowing down helps you, helps your productivity.
And the majority said no. And then I showed up in the room, and I asked the question, and everybody raised their hand that they did. They agreed. No. Like... And I said, "I saw your surveys."
Genevieve George: Yeah. Like, who do you think I went to?
Jackie Roby: You know? But it was so funny to see.
Genevieve George: That's just peer pressure in the room. The person next to them was like, "Oh, no, that's me."
Jackie Roby: Yeah. Yeah. So there's a matter of being able to support the environment that they're in, understanding of who they are, their history, their culture, their generation. There's so much that plays into it. And testing out what sticks and what doesn't, I guess. I don't want to name a pattern initially, because I also don't think that's fair.
Genevieve George: Right. You want the person or the group to get there on their own.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. I don't think it's fair. I want them to get there on their own, and I want them to feel safe seeing it. Because when you don't, it- the same thing happens. You just become dysregulated, and you reject it. Or it can feel destructive.
Genevieve George: Right. Okay. And you have a book coming out that is very specific to this group of high achievers. Maybe talk to us about that. What's it called and, and when, what can we expect to learn?
Jackie Roby: It is called Palatable, Profitable, and Dying Inside.
Genevieve George: I love that.
Jackie Roby: And the premise is for those of us high performers who learn to be easy to work with, super palatable, put the smile on, and take on all the extra work, and the destruction, honestly, that happens for the person and for the organization.
So it's a way of succeeding without disappearing. That's what you get from this: how you can succeed without disappearing. You get to be you, and the organization does better when they create that change as well, that allows the space for it.
Genevieve George: ‘Cause, 'cause the alternative is that person leaving, and the organization losing this important resource that, that they didn't know was so important until it was gone, right?
Jackie Roby: Exactly. The intelligence that has been there, the talent that is being lost. And not only is it saving money on retention, but also working to increase your talent pipeline from the people you have with these skills that we've been talking about, because executive recruiting is one of the most expensive. Why do that when you've got these people here that you can work with?
Genevieve George: That you can build and grow together with, honestly. And that's what those high achievers sitting in that spot want. They wanna be a part of the future and the growth.
Jackie Roby: Yeah. And they came in like loyal, excited, committed, and ready for this.
Genevieve George: Yeah. And if they're not, I don't know if this is the right term, but sort of like fed the same energy back, that's when they either shut down or, or leave, right? It is that like…
Jackie Roby: That's exactly it, and part of what I see as the cycle is they're going, going, going, and then the quiet cracking is they're still there, they're still performing, but they don't care the way that they did.
And then, yeah, then they leave.
Genevieve George: And honestly, like that's something where I can relate to that really well, where I was very, very excited about being a part of some of these firms, and being a part of their future and the growth, and excited about what we were all gonna build together. But ultimately, I had to just shut down because I wasn't really feeling like I was a part of that.
And, and so it's something that I think a lot of people can relate to, and like we've used the term stuck. That's what I've felt before. Yeah.
Genevieve George: And so it's just having the… And it’s because like… I actually use the word broken as well, like, because I came in and I was, "Man, I can't wait to get to this. I can't wait to do this. I can't wait to be a part of this and this and this." And then it was like, nevermind, I don't want that.
And so you feel like, “Wow, that like broke me.” 'Cause I had all this energy, right? Like I was excited, and something happened along the way that just like sucked that right out.
And so it's different now 'cause now I'm working for me. But yes. But I'm sure that's something that you see with your, with your teams that you work with, and maybe even in your own experience 'cause you came from the space before teaching this space, right?
Jackie Roby: Absolutely. Absolutely. I see it, saw it in my own experience. I saw it with colleagues and leaders in places that I've worked, and with, you know, organizations and individuals I work with now. This is a pattern, and it's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking for those of us who are high performers who find ourselves in this palatability culture because we came in loving what we do, loving the company.
These are your people that are loyal. Right? And all they want is this growth.
Genevieve George: And if you lead them to question if this is even the career they wanna be in, something is wrong.
Jackie Roby: Right. So it makes me wonder, and I wanna flip it on its head for you, Genevieve, is when we look at this person who is this high performer who has been taught, "Work hard, you'll be successful," and then it comes to wealth, because we've never been taught about wealth.
We've been taught, "Work hard, pay your bills, hopefully you'll be debt-free." How do you support them in giving them the safety, first of all, to ask for help?
Genevieve George: Yeah.
Jackie Roby: And then the excitement to move to that next level.
Genevieve George: Yeah, that's a, that's a great question. And I think that that we talked earlier about some of the feelings that we put on ourselves, right?
And maybe not getting to where we wanna be creates shame, or you just sort of want to avoid it or whatever the case may be. And that's something that I try to work with people to, like, really overcome. Like, we really need to figure out where we are, and we need to figure out where we wanna go, and then really start mapping out those steps strategically.
Like you're saying, it's not gonna just happen without strategic thought and maybe somebody gets lucky along the way, but putting strategic thought into what you really want that, that long-term vision to be and how we get there is so important. And what I find myself encouraging a lot is, like, we gotta get our head out of the sand.
We just gotta see. We gotta see where we are so that we can move forward. But if we don't know or understand what we have, how it's working, it's very difficult to just keep chugging along and, and just on a hope and a prayer that it works out, right? Yeah. And so, similar to what you're doing too, we have to manage the balance between the actual financials and the emotional side of what that really looks like, and not wait for it to be perfect.
I talk about that a lot, is that we're not looking for perfection, we are looking for progress. And I think what we do to ourselves sometimes is, like, we say, "Okay," like, "I'll just address that later when it's better, more buttoned up and organized." And I try to tell people, I have a regular request list if I'm working with somebody for the first time.
Like, it would be really helpful to see these items to get a clear picture of what's going on. Do not stress if you don't have all of them. Send me what you have. Like, because if you wait until you have all of those things, like, buttoned up and perfect and ready to go, you're missing out on, like, making progress, right?
Jackie Roby: Yeah.
Genevieve George: So try to share that with people. And there's so much that we do, probably you and I, that does sort of fall into, like, the therapy category, in that we're... The numbers are what they are, and we have to, like, work with that.
But the goals and the emotions around it are different from one person to the next, and that's where I get so much excitement about what I do, is working to understand that person, what their patterns are, and, and how do, how do we help... Like, what are the opportunities where we can build going forward?
Jackie Roby: I love that. And honestly, it takes a special person to provide that space. It's more than skill. I mean, it's skill, it's knowledge, it's all of that, and it's creating that safe space. I know I overshare with my accountant.
Genevieve George: Well, well, as a former CPA, like, it's in your best interest to give them more information so they can give you better information back.
But so the other thing that I try to preach too is I think that we're in a space, again, going back to that progress over perfection; I think some people think they just don't even have enough to talk to somebody, and I just believe it might not always be me. I just believe there is an advisor for everybody. Even if you've just started your first job and you only have a little bit of money to put away, there is an advisor that will talk to you, and they will be eager to help you build that wealth. And then I try to put a lot of faith around providing a space of respect for people's finances.
Whether you have $1,000 or millions of dollars, those are your life savings. That deserves the respect of you as well as your advisor to explain and provide knowledge so that you know exactly what you have and how it's working. Whether it's not a lot or it's a lot to you, it's everything.
Jackie Roby: Yeah.
Genevieve George: And I have heard so many stories of people saying, “Oh, my advisor left, and so this other person sort of inherited me, and they pretty much told me I'm not their normal client 'cause I don't have enough money." And that's how they started that relationship.
Like, whoa. Yeah. That's not gonna make you feel good. But it's not gonna make you feel like you have a space where you can ask all the questions and communicate, you know, overshare if you, if you'd like. Like, you don't have, you don't, you just... That door's been closed, in my opinion. So trying to create that space, but it seems very similar to what you're doing.
You're trying to create a space so you can understand what is really happening in the, in the environment that it... And then what are the patterns so that we can make incremental adjustments to improve those.
Jackie Roby: Exactly. And one of the things that I speak about in the book is being a regulated leader versus being a dysregulated leader.
And you navigate things differently when you're dysregulated versus regulated. And one of them being open to ideas and open to help. And when we look at getting to that next level of leadership that we started this conversation with, you need to be able to let go and bring in your experts, your team members, your colleagues, whoever that is.
And I think about that with what you're doing for your clients. Because when you're a regulated leader of your life, you're like, "I don't know what I don't know, and I need someone who is going to help me maximize this so I can get where I didn't even realize was possible."
Genevieve George: Right. Yeah.
Jackie Roby: Like, you're opening doors for possibility.
Genevieve George: I love that. And I know we've spoken about the book, and we've spoken a little bit about, like, who you're working with. We have focused our attention on, like, the high achievers that are trying to strategically get to the next level. But I know we're gonna have another conversation because you actually work with both sides within the organization.
You are also working with the leadership team, helping to build and bring up the next generation of leaders, not managers, of those leaders. And I think that that's such powerful work ‘cause you are, like, in the middle, seeing the talent coming up and trying to help them nurture their abilities and the top tier trying to continue to grow or build what they've initially started out to build.
So do you wanna speak to that other side for a little bit as well? As a teaser for our next discussion.
Jackie Roby: Absolutely. So this is another chance of our heads in the sand and taking them out in these roles to shake off the I need to be needed persona that got us where we are, and instead realize you got here because you did awesome, and now you're taking everything forward.
And you cannot take everything forward if you're spending your time being needed.
Genevieve George: And you're saying, I think you used an analogy when we first met, was like that person operating as if it is still the first year. But really in reality they have built something well beyond that first year where they have a team and they're trying to create a succession and future growth. But they're still in that headspace of, like, the first year.
And I really appreciated that analogy so much, right? 'Cause I am 18 months in. But I have a bigger vision, so I'm, like, trying to actively have that in my mind as I'm building this, but I think that that's so powerful to hear now instead of years from now when I'm like, it's further along.
Yeah. It's more difficult to get in and be able to create that initially.
Jackie Roby: 100%. We're looking at where we're going, and it takes things to get there, but especially when you're at that point and you've got a team. I have clients, C-suite clients who have a really difficult time letting go of the day-to-day, and others who could not imagine that their people are not doing things for their own self-care, when for them it's really easy.
Okay, well these are all, again, things, patterns that need to come to the forefront so that they can lead better and be better visionaries, 'cause that's what they're there for.
Genevieve George: Right. Creating a role that I strive to, right? Like, as a high achiever, not that I'm like, "Oh, God. I don't wanna be in their shoes. This looks horrible."
Jackie Roby: Took the word right out of my mouth.
Genevieve George: Yes.
Jackie Roby: Exactly. Exactly. That's the reason that the high performer wants to work for you, wants to work for your company.
Genevieve George: Yes. Yeah. 'Cause you've set an example of what life could be. Bring the fun with them. But then you have to, like, create that to bring it up with them.
Yeah. I love that. Jackie, thank you so much for being here. Are there any, like, closing remarks for the group? And I would also like them to know how to find you.
Maybe an action item you wanna see people take. What should we do with our week this week?
Jackie Roby: So what I want you to recognize that your busyness isn't proof of your value; it's proof that the system is broken.
This week I wanna give you one really simple assignment, and it's gonna feel really, oh, it's gonna feel touchy-feely, and I know it's gonna feel really uncomfortable, but I promise you it's gonna be important. Every day I want you to write down one thing you love about yourself, and it has to start with “I love…”
And do not try to get away with saying something like, "I love my company," or, "I love my family." No. I love that I chose to work for this company. I love the work that I do in my role. I love the manners that I'm teaching my kids. This is about you. It's not about other people or things. This is about you.
So every day, write down something new you love about yourself. The best place to find me, I spend the most time on LinkedIn, Jackie Roby, and I'm on Instagram @inspirejourneyconsulting.
Genevieve George: I love that. All right. Well, Jackie, thank you so much for being here, and if you would like to work with Jackie, she just gave you her information. It'll be in the show notes as well. So thank you so much.
That's it for today's episode of The Wealth Development Studio. Remember, financial clarity is powerful. Do you need help with your financial plan? Go to pelicanfinancialplanning.com to schedule a call with me. Until next time.
