Episode 7: How Estate Planning Protects Families During Grief

Written By Genevieve George

Estate planning rarely feels urgent… until life forces it to be. Too often, families postpone these decisions because they’re uncomfortable, complicated, or easy to ignore. But when illness, loss, or sudden responsibility arrives, the absence of a clear plan can turn grief into chaos, leaving loved ones to make impossible decisions at the worst possible time.

In this episode, Dana Gliniecki shares what it looks like when estate planning moves from theory to reality. After years of thoughtful preparation following a major business exit, Dana unexpectedly found herself relying on those plans when her husband passed away. She offers a rare, firsthand perspective on how preparation (or lack thereof) shapes emotional capacity, family dynamics, and decision-making during profound loss. Listen in to learn why estate planning is less about wealth and more about responsibility, clarity, and care.

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why estate planning decisions are harder to make during grief and loss.

  • How a clear estate plan reduces stress for surviving spouses and families.

  • What happens when trustees must make financial decisions after a death.

  • How estate plans should change as children become adults and start families.

  • Why family communication is critical to avoiding conflict after a parent passes.

  • The difference between managing an estate and protecting family relationships.

  • How planning ahead creates clarity and stability during emotionally overwhelming times.

Ideas Worth Sharing:

  • “At the end of the day, we're all gonna die. You'd rather be in charge of how everything goes down.” - Dana Gliniecki

  • “You either do the hard stuff upfront and things go relatively smoothly, or you do nothing, and you make it much harder on yourselves, and other people potentially end up making very important decisions for you.” - Dana Gliniecki

  • “You have to ultimately live with the consequences, and you don't get to say at the end, ‘Well, I didn't know.’ Well, that's on you.” - Dana Gliniecki

Resources:


About Our Guest:

Dana Gliniecki is a philanthropic leader focused on collaboration, women’s leadership, and collective giving. With a degree in Organizational Leadership from Roosevelt University, she combines professional experience with a lifelong commitment to community impact through board service, nonprofit engagement, and strategic philanthropy. She has been recognized as Philanthropist of the Year by the McHenry County EDC and as a Distinguished Alumna of McHenry County College.

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Read the Transcript:

Dana Gliniecki: You're forced to make difficult decisions, but it's harder not to at the end of the day. So you either do the hard stuff upfront and things go relatively smoothly, or you do nothing, and you make it much harder on yourselves, and other people potentially end up making very important decisions for you.

Welcome to The Wealth Development Studio. I'm your host, Genevieve George, Senior Financial Advisor and Founder of Pelican Financial Planning & Wealth. Our goal for this episode is to provide clarity about today's financial topic, inspire you to be brave with your questions, and gain confidence in your financial future. So take a deep breath, grab your favorite cup of coffee, and step into the studio. Your dose of financial empowerment begins now.

Genevieve George: Estate planning is often framed as a set of documents, something you complete and file away, and hope to never need. But in reality, the estate plan doesn't end when the ink dries. It unfolds over years, sometimes decades, through real people, real decisions, and changing family dynamics. My guest today, Dana Gliniecki, knows this firsthand.

Alongside with her husband, she completed extensive estate planning following a liquidity event from a business he built. Those plans were put into place with care, intention, and love for their family, and then, far too soon, those plans became the foundation that carried their family through an incredibly difficult season. But the story doesn't stop there today.

She continues to navigate those decisions as a parent, a steward of family wealth, and a deeply involved leader in the philanthropic space, balancing what was written years ago with who her family is now. She's here to share not only what planning made possible but how it continues to shape her family's values, relationships, and legacy today.

Dana, thank you so much for being willing to share your story with us. Maybe take us back and talk about what led up to that liquidity event and your interest in taking a seat at the table and understanding what was going on. 

Dana Gliniecki: So I think taking aback even a little bit further, what kind of got me a little more focused on my own role and responsibility way before there was an estate plan or even a need for one.

I had a number of family members or friends who went through either a divorce or lost a spouse, and this was probably when I was in my 40s and I saw them struggling with the reality of what that looked like, and it really got me thinking that it was my responsibility to know more and be more involved.

It had nothing to do with not trusting my husband or not feeling like he was managing our finances well. I was a little embarrassed at what I didn't know. I started by reading a very popular book at the time. Suze Orman wrote a book about Women & Money, kind of 101. I read the book. It told you what to do, what you needed to be aware of.

It started with things as simple as do you have a checking account? There were things I knew, but a lot I didn't. When I talked to my husband about my concerns, he was very supportive, and it ended up resulting in a few minor changes, like having some credit cards in my name only and having some accounts in my name only.

But it gave me a level of knowledge and confidence that I didn't have. And I think really I've just built on that over the years. My husband worked at Motorola, electrical engineer, seemed like the kind of a place and job you would stay at forever, which is funny thinking now what ended up happening to Motorola.

But at the time, it was certainly the safe bet. And he decided after a couple of years to leave and, with his former boss there, start one company that they sold after a couple of years, and then another one that they thought they would sell within a couple of years, but 20 years later, it finally happened.

This is often the case, and as our assets grew, not considerably, but we were certainly like most people at that age in a different phase of life, and we had three children at that point too, which makes you look at everything differently. And so we did end up hiring financial advisors and put a will and a trust, basic things in place.

We also started trust for our children—our three sons—which were very, very small in the beginning, but that one step made at the point in time when it was, and then letting that money grow, ended up being actually a really significant thing and a really good thing that we did that we never would have done without being advised to do that.

2015, my husband and his business partner did finally sell the business, and at that point, it was very clear that we needed a team of people to advise us not just through the sale, but everything that would need to happen after that. Because it was a personal business, those choices were tied to people that in many cases also had ties to the business so that they really understood what that looks like.

So we interviewed a number of people, a number of companies, and ultimately made a choice who we were going to go with based on expertise, reputation, and, for us, location. We're in the Chicago area, and we also used the accountant and attorney that were involved with the business. We needed different services, and we needed a team used to dealing with people in our situation.

Prior to that, it was taxes, it was how to be the most efficient with taxes. Like I said, a will, a trust. It was the first phase. It made sense honestly at that point. But with the business selling, it was clear that we needed to do some things both before the business sold and then a number of things after the business sold.

And we needed a team, and a team that understood our needs and could grow with us.

Genevieve George: Yeah, I love that. I wanna circle back for a minute to what you said right in the beginning. You got interested in learning more about your own financial picture looked like as getting more involved in that as a family.

Not that it wasn't being taken care of, but just wanting to know what that was. That's something that comes up. For me, with clients, I see that maybe one spouse isn't really paying attention and might not attend meetings, not responding to emails, even though they're included. And I think that was a really like, you said it, it was uncomfortable for you to have to overcome that and just say, “You know what? I'm gonna get involved.” And I think there is that feeling out there that sort of prevents people from taking that. So that was really brave of you to just say, “You know what? I need to know this information.”

And maybe I'm scared of what I didn't already know, but I appreciate that you shared that 'cause I think that's really powerful too. 

Dana Gliniecki: And I think more often than not for all kinds of reasons, it tends to be women, whether it's fear or habit. Their father took care of finances in their house growing up, especially going back generations.

That was very typical. And then for me, my husband ran a business. He was more qualified to make these financial decisions. I was busy taking care of the kids and the house and everything else, but at the end of the day, it was my responsibility. Part of it was being a little embarrassed at what you don't know, but you just have to start.

And for me, it was easier to read a book and have some basic steps to follow. If I remember correctly, there was maybe a checklist because my husband knew that I had friends and family that had been through divorces or lost a spouse. These were reasonable things for me to be thinking about. At the end of the day, it was my responsibility, even though it resulted in just a few minor things, it got over that discomfort of talking about sensitive issues, whether it's money or anything.

Genevieve George: And good that you did it then, right? You had that knowledge already when you were going into a more complex financial picture. I think that's just really commendable and I want other people to hear that and say, even if they are letting their significant other or somebody else take care of it, to really understand what they have, how it is working, and not be afraid of what that picture looks like and be brave with their questions so that they do have that.

Because it is our responsibility to know what's going on in our own lives, right? Regardless of whether we're the one taking care of it or not. 

Dana Gliniecki: You have to ultimately live with the consequences, and you don't get to say at the end, “Well, I didn't know.” Well, that's on you, and I think it's normal and natural and relationship to divide and conquer, but that doesn't mean you can't be involved.

When we hired the first financial advisor, I really was not—and to this day—am not too interested in getting into the weeds. I wanna know the big picture. I wanna know my options. I wanna know if we make this choice, it means this. If we make this choice, it means this. I'm more interested in the framework.

I'm not so concerned about specifics.

Genevieve George: You don't wanna know the beta of the no stock position that you're holding.

Dana Gliniecki: And my husband did, and he would often sometimes, to my embarrassment, get involved in things that'd be like, I think they know what they're doing, but his comfort level was different than mine.

Running two companies successfully were things I didn't know. I developed a relationship with those people face-to-face, going to meetings, understanding the structure, making key decisions. Did I remember them all a month later? Absolutely not. But I didn't need to worry about it because I knew when the decisions were made, I was comfortable with them and they made sense.

And you start small and build your knowledge and your confidence. So the sooner you get involved, especially as a woman, the sooner you get involved, the more knowledgeable you become, the more confident you become, and the more in control you become of your financial future.

Genevieve George: Yeah, I love that. So prior to the sale of the business, you had what I'll call standard estate documents, right?

You had a will, you had a trust, guardianship things set up for your children, but walking into a potential business sale, you were advised you might need some other—this is getting a more complex because of the nature of what the picture will look like after the sale. So what did you do from there?

Dana Gliniecki: I don't even honestly remember all of the specific details, but there were absolutely things, and this sale was happening in the late fall, so there was not going to be a lot of time after the sale, before it was the year was going to end. And obviously, with taxes, it's not like the sale is gonna be in January a whole year to figure things out.

Honestly like you have four weeks, then it's January, I think first of all a big part of it was deciding who to go with meeting with them, talking about our needs, helping them understand us, bringing them up to speed on what exactly the sale of the business was going to look like, and them then telling us these are the things we need to do before the business sells.

And then there'll be a whole lot after that.

Genevieve George: Right. Quickly before the tax year ends.

Dana Gliniecki: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I think again, for me, once I trust somebody and I'm comfortable with them, not that you still don't have a lot of things to think about, and it's really important to be thoughtful and thorough, but you just have to learn to make tough decisions.

And obviously, when you have a spouse that you trust, and you work together with who runs a business, that is very helpful. I was very fortunate that Greg was experienced and astute when it came to business and finances, but these were still things that we were still moving into uncharted territory.

Genevieve George: Sure. Come 2015, like how old were the kids when you were making these plans?

Dana Gliniecki: We had one son who just gone off to college. One son who had just graduated from high school, and one son who was in high school.

Genevieve George: Okay. And so when you're putting these plans in place, and I think you mentioned we set up some trust for the kids for later on, we set up some other components of the estate documents. You were thinking pretty far into the future.

Dana Gliniecki: Absolutely. Yes.

Genevieve George: Yes. And so pretty much you and Greg just went about living your lives. The business was sold. We've done all the documents, and we're just enjoying retirement.

Dana Gliniecki: Yeah. I think when the business sold, he continued to work there. But it was the beginning of the new version of the estate planning, and there were a lot of concepts and vehicles that we were being introduced to that were big and scary and unknown to us.

When you go through the sale of a business, an event like that, it's a lot emotionally, and you're still getting used to that and how your life is different because of that. And then having all of these big decisions to make on top of that, it’s a little daunting, but I think it's like anything you do what are the priorities and you're being guided and you have to trust that process and I absolutely did.

And really wouldn't do anything different. I think oftentimes I felt like, why is this taking so long? How could it take more than six months? And here we are 10 years later, still changing things because even when life continues to change, your children get older, they graduate from college, they get married.

You are talking about things like prenups, which didn't really entry, didn't think that day would ever come. You're dealing with new things all the time. And deciding how your life is going to change with new resources. Are you going to buy something? Where should you buy it? How should it be titled? How should it be financed?

These were things we never thought we'd have to be talking about, and it's a wonderful problem to have, but a big responsibility too because you want to do it, you wanna make the right choices.

Genevieve George: Right. And it's hard to know that. Your kids were in high school and college. Using a crystal ball into the future to say what we think is gonna be right 10, 15, 20 plus years down the road, right? 

Dana Gliniecki: Yes. I think for us, we lived in a smaller community. We still have a house there. We kinda wanted tobe under the radar about everything, so we didn't want to make any changes that were really obvious, even in terms of me getting more involved with philanthropy. For the first five years, we did everything anonymously because we didn't want our children in any way.

We didn't want them to know, and we don't want people to see us differently. We especially didn't want people to see our children differently, so we were low-key. We just wanted to be under the radar, both as we figured things out and because we just didn't want relationships to be affected by the new situation we were in. 

Genevieve George: Yeah, I appreciate that you share that because it's so cliche. You hear money changes things, right? And one of the things that I've heard, the concept of sudden money, I know you're an avid reader, so maybe you've read that one too, but not to make major changes when there has been a change in what the financial picture looks like too, so that you can adjust to it as well.

So I appreciate that you're sharing that 'cause people will just hear that and they get excited so excited. Oh my gosh, we had this change. I'm gonna get the new thing. And it takes a lot to take a step back and be thoughtful about the emotional side of it, about the appearance of it, and what is gonna be best for everybody involved, including younger kids that you wanna keep good heads on their shoulders.

Dana Gliniecki: Yes, absolutely. And it's a lonely place to be because chances are many of your family and friends have not been through the experience you've been through, and you can't really talk to them about that. You don't really know many people who have been through that experience.

So you have your financial advisors, but you don't have people who talk about the emotional aspects about it with—and I know it's very common now, but at that time, you feel isolated and alone. Are these normal thoughts? Is it normal to have these concerns? It is. But you don't know that and you don't really have people to talk to about it. 

Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah. Except for each other, right?

Dana Gliniecki: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Yes. Yeah.

Genevieve George: Well, I appreciate you sharing that, and I know there's a lot of thought that goes into your desire to keep that normalcy for the family as well, and to try to create good structure around their values and how they think about money. And so you were shaping it before this business sale, and you were just trying to continue shaping that.

Dana Gliniecki: Absolutely. When it comes to estate planning, managing the money is the easy part. If you have children, I honestly feel like what I struggled over the most and what my husband and I didn't necessarily agree on as much was how to handle things with the kids.

What kind of example do you set? Just because we're doing certain things 'cause we're adults. We've worked our whole life, right? But your kids are along for the ride. Something as simple as, I can afford to fly first class now, but do I want my kids to get used to flying out?

It sounds like a silly thing, but you want them to keep grounded. And there were times where we would fly together, and Greg and I would fly first class and they wouldn't.

Genevieve George: You guys just sit back there. 

Dana Gliniecki: I mean, this is kinda of a silly story, but at one point, one of my sons asked me if we were rich, and I said, “Well, that depends on your perspective.”

There's always people that have more than you and people that have less you. And that depends on your perspective. “But if you're asking me if you are rich, no you're not.” And we both laughed over it because I wanna understand you've got your life to make and earn, and you are not rich.

Whether I am or not could be up for debate, but I think what you're really asking me is, are you rich? And you're not.

Genevieve George: I love that. Yeah. Keep 'em grounded in reality. 

Dana Gliniecki: Exactly. For you're still going to college. 

Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I wanna just fast forward a little bit. Okay. The business has sold and you had some short-term things to take care of, but then, over time, you're making adjustments to your financial plan, to the overall estate plan.

And then your husband was diagnosed with cancer. And so did you make changes when he was going through his treatments?

Dana Gliniecki: So he was diagnosed in late May of 2023 with stage four stomach cancer. 80% of stomach cancer is stage four when it's diagnosed. Basically, you have one to five years. We were hoping because he was young, he was only in his early sixties, and completely healthy.

Otherwise, we were hoping that he would be on that five-year side of the statistics. But unfortunately, he passed away about a year later, and he had some periods where he was very healthy, and treatments were working, and so we were able to meet with our advisor, look at what could be changed if possible, what should we change, what could be changed, and set up a family meeting.

We had one early on with all three of the boys a couple years after the business sold just to start to introduce them to some basic things, build a relationship directly with our advisor, with our team. And it was a good time. So we did have a meeting looking at things very differently, considering things very differently, knowing Greg was not going to live into his 80s, which is what all of the plans are based on.

And we did make the decision to share with them, and at that point our estate had become much more involved and sophisticated. We set up a donor, advise some slats. We set up an insurance trust, all things that we knew nothing about.

Genevieve George: And you thought you weren't gonna have to talk about 'em for 20, 30 years?

Dana Gliniecki: Correct. And some things can't be changed. We aligned certain things, different things, established at different points in time. We tried to simplify. I'm big on simplifying and consolidating, so we tried to make things as simple as possible for me, knowing I was gonna be the one dealing with this alone. And we wanted boys, not that I don't think they were worried about anything, but just for them to see the basic structure without any numbers.

Just to understand that there was something, this is what is in place, how it will flow. This is what it looks like in terms of your mom being a trustee. And I think that was very helpful for them. And I think it gave them an appreciation for 8 years of work that Greg and I put into that. And it also, most of the people on the team were the same, but it just brought them together to meet them again, and especially for the two older ones.

It was the first step in saying, “And you at this point should be working independently with our team on your own finances,” so that was very helpful. So some minor changes. Aligning things and streamlining to the extent possible, helping me understand how it's going to work.

Genevieve George: I really love that you had that family meeting. It sounds like you had one prior just opening up those lines of communication 'cause I think that's so important. And I've seen it both ways. I've been a part of relationships where they are very willing to share the information in the way that you're describing. Just really open up those lines of communication.

And then I've had other clients where they didn't want to do that and it was a surprise to the family after the fact when somebody passes. And it sounds like having that family meeting and opening up those lines of communication and building those relationships for your kids with the advisors and all sitting at the same table was really, really helpful and powerful to create some clarity before your husband passed.

Dana Gliniecki: Absolutely. And I think both of those meetings, which happened several years apart, were helpful. Because I think it helped them understand where we were coming from in our thinking and why we were doing the things we were doing and the things that need to be considered. 'Cause at some point they're gonna be making these same kinds of plans and decisions for their own families.

And I also think having an attorney or an accountant or a financial advisor explain something, one topic that is, the first meeting was minor, but becomes more important later in life was prenups. And so having them explain how this is something when there's no name in the slot, it's not—

Genevieve George: It's not a specific person, it's just the concept in general because…

Dana Gliniecki: It's nothing personal. And just having them explain this is about protecting the money that your parents have earned, that they've been generous enough to share with you. What you do with your own money is your own business. This is not about your money. And having that said to them when they were in their teens is very different than it coming up after they popped the question with someone.

'cause you just can't help but feel personal. When they were in their formative years, still in high school, going to college, I didn't want anything to interfere with whatever path they were on. And so at that point for me, I felt really strongly that they don't need to know that much. I don't want them to get distracted.

I don't want them to lose motivation. That was how I felt, and I still feel that way. But the oldest one now is 31, the middle one is 29, and the youngest one was 26. The oldest one is married. The middle one is engaged. They are college educated. They are hardworking, they're gainfully employed. They've chosen good partners.

Greg's passed away. Now we do talk very openly, and because one is over 30 and one is almost 30 and is getting married, we have now had meetings again with the team about what trusts look like and how they work. I've shared my philosophy on making distributions because they have shown themselves to be responsible, good human beings.

And I'll have to say that has probably been the most emotionally trying decision I've had to make since Greg passed away. The other stuff, it's a lot, but it is what it is. It's just getting it done. This was me setting the precedent of saying how and when am I going to make distributions and talk to people, read books, talked to my advisor, and in the end, I talked to the boys and said, “What would be meaningful to you? What's important to you? What do you want?”

Genevieve George: And that's because you're serving in the role of trustee for their individual trusts. Yes. And so that complicates things. They're responsible maybe asking for distributions for good reasons, but it could have gone the other way.

Dana Gliniecki: Totally. And fortunately, we have a very good relationship and we had some really good conversations, both the three of us and with the team. And you want to think about. It's not just about managing the money, it's about preserving the money. And even more importantly, to me, preserving family relationships.

And so if I do this, if one son wants this and one son wants this, and one is cost X, is that going to bother you? And they get along. So we had those very, and basically what they said was atthe end of the day we're all getting the same amount. I don't care if he gets‚ because he's buying a house, this much this year and I am just wanna on a vacation.

They're like, “We don't care.” Some families it would matter, right? And so just getting that out from the beginning, because we're setting a precedent and you wanna be consistent. You wanna try fear, but fear isn't always the same. So that has been honestly the most difficult thing that I have wrangled with emotionally.

And doing it by myself without anybody to bounce that off of. But I'm really, really comfortable with the decisions we made, the three of us together, with advice from our team. 

Genevieve George: I can only imagine how difficult it was to lose your husband and for your kids to lose their father, but do you feel like all the things that you set in place from an administrative standpoint were helpful? So you knew what was gonna happen and you didn't have to worry about that?

Dana Gliniecki: It was beyond helpful because you are in a fog of grief. You're spread so thin. There is no way that I would have been able to make thoughtful, measured decisions about anything major at that point. It was beneficial.

They knew what was going on, but to have one person to call when he passed away and have them say, “Okay, this is the first thing we're doing.” I was making so many decisions through that whole year of him being sick related to everything—financial, medical decisions—just to have someone tell me what to do that knew me and that I trusted. It really was just “Tell me what to do.”

Genevieve George: Yeah, I think that's helpful to hear because it's easy to talk about the administrative side. Oh, you need these documents, you need to do this, you need to do that. But to actually hear the emotional side, having some clarity and being able to take the time with your family and not be having to chase down all kinds of things for.

Dana Gliniecki: I can't imagine looking for an accountant during the time—or attorney.

I can't even imagine what that would look like. It just doesn't make sense. Yes, it takes a lot of time to pull together a team and do these things. You're forced to make difficult decisions. It's harder not to at the end of the day. So you either do the hard stuff upfront and things go relatively smoothly, or you do nothing and you make it much harder on yourselves and other people potentially end up making very important decisions for you and for your children.

It's hard. It takes time. You have to make tough decisions, but at the end of the day, we're all gonna die. You'd rather be in charge of how everything goes down.

Genevieve George: Yeah. Yeah. I've definitely experienced states where there wasn't a plan, and it is, for lack of a better term, it's a mess that family is already going through so much emotionally and to just add on top of it, legal issues and probate and all kinds of things.

It can just be. And doing some pre-planning, even if it's uncomfortable. 'cause nobody likes to talk about their death. It can have such an impact later on. So I just appreciate you sharing that with us. 

Dana Gliniecki: And I think no matter where you are economically, it's important. I'm shocked at the number of people I talk to who don't even have a will and a trust in place, and I have had a number of friends who have lost their parents, and it has created a lot of damage amongst their siblings. Even some of those relationships don't exist at this point because things were not, and in some cases, we weren't talking about a lot of money, but.

Genevieve George: No, but it still creates a mess, right? An emotional mess with family members and a financial mess with whatever money there is or is not.

Dana Gliniecki: And I have seen it; it made it much harder. It would've been easier if their parents had their estates in order. 

Genevieve George: Speaking to what you said earlier, you had an advisor early on and then you felt like you needed a new one that can handle your new circumstances. I always say, I think there's an advisor out there for everybody.

I think there's an attorney out there for everybody, like you can get your estate documents done. It doesn't have to be over complicated. It doesn't have to be expensive that you can get them done and have that clarity in place no matter what your wealth level is so that there is a plan. One of the things you mentioned when talking about the business sale is doing a donor-advised fund.

So obviously at that time, I know there's tax benefits of doing a donor-advised fund, but you were clearly already charitably inclined when you were going through that. To have that thought, like there's a tax component to that, we're gonna essentially front load our charitable giving so that we get a larger tax deduction in the year that we had the business sale, but I know from knowing you outside of this philanthropy is like a really big part of your life.

So was it a part of your life before you did the donor-advised fund and started getting more involved? 

Dana Gliniecki: I, for many years, had volunteered to different places. The kids’ schools, church, gave smaller amounts to charity, but as the kids were getting older, and I was getting a little more time to myself to focus on the things that I was interested in, I really wanted to take it to the next level.

But I really wanted to be thoughtful about it. I wanted to be very purposeful. I wanted to have impact, and I really didn't know how to do that. So once again, I read a book.

The book I happened to read was is called Giving 2.0 and it's very basic, but it's a modern look at an approach to giving and it was very helpful. There's a free online class that you can take and you create your own personal giving plan. It walks you through questions and thought exercises.

At the end of the day, what I got out of it is you choose a cause with your heart. If you don't really feel an emotional connection to something, there's no shortage of good causes out there, obviously, and that's a lot of people get stuck right there. I don't even know where to start.

It's okay. You can't save everyone and everything. What do you feel a personal connection with? Choose your causes with your heart, but choose your charities with your mind. I had no idea when I read that book that within a year the company would be selling this was something I was going to do in my community.

When the business sold, I didn't know what a community foundation was prior to reading this book. I didn't know what a donor-advised fund was, so I actually had the knowledge and confidence. When our advisor brought that up, which I'm really glad they did because I've heard this a lot and it's so important for financial advisors to educate their clients about giving opportunities.

If they don't, who will? People really, not all people are gonna just happen to read the right book at the right time. It's so important to present that opportunity and the options that exist and why—the tax benefit is one thing, but if you're going to give the money anyway, that's gonna happen anyway.

It's really just knowing how to go about it. Where do you start? You don't wanna be the big-hearted fool that squanderers what it took a lifetime to earn. There are all these psychological barriers to giving. When the business was selling and a donor-advised fund came up, I completely understood what it was.

I was completely comfortable. I knew that because our taxes were gonna be very high that year, I looked comfortable with making a pretty significant distribution to a donor-advised fund, and my husband trusted me. It seems like a lot, but at the end of the day, you’re also putting your money where your mouth is.

Okay, you think you're gonna do these things? Okay, now I have to do 'em because… you know.

Genevieve George: But specific to a donor-advised fund or a DAF, the tradeoff is that you would've had to pay more in taxes. So you were giving it away either way. Exactly. But you'd rather it go to a good cause other than—

Dana Gliniecki: I'd rather decide where it goes than the government, to be quite honest. So that took it to the next level. But then still it was—okay, I don't really know what the needs are in the community. I'm not familiar with all of the nonprofits that were out there, because I knew what a community foundation was. I called and set up an appointment, and met with the executive director and just asked her to tell me about what are the needs in our community, and I was shocked.

Not at all what I would've thought they were. I think I've learned over time to be humble and ask a lot more questions than approach anything with, “I know how this is going to be fixed.” It's almost flipped from, “Oh, I know what I'm gonna do. I know what will help,” to doing a lot more listening, getting to know people who are familiar with the issue in dealing with it.

And why don't the obvious solutions work? If I've thought of it, surely they've thought of it. I really will say that volunteering at the Community Foundation was the best education I could have gotten. I learned so much just by doing things like filing, talking to people, doing site visits at nonprofits.

I really gained the experience and confidence to start increasing my giving over the last 10 years. It’s really evolved to being much more focused and impactful to really just having a handful of nonprofits that I'm deeply involved with. Always keep a percentage aside. This giving plan, the giving plan has evolved, but there's always a miscellaneous category.

But I've really shifted as I've become more knowledgeable and confident. You just have to take one step in the right direction. 

Genevieve George: You're doing something in your community in Chicago to help other people learn about taking those steps. Can you talk about that a little bit? 

Dana Gliniecki: Yes, so the community foundation from McHenry County where I started out volunteering 10 years ago, that relationship evolved over time.

I don't do a lot of filing anymore, thankfully, but my husband and I actually. at one point, the community foundation moved to a bigger facility that was going to be really the forever home, and there was about a third of that physical space that wasn't needed and really never will be needed. And so we had a lot of conversations about what are we going to do with this space?

And approached some families in the community about maybe doing, providing an endowment to do certain things with it. I was privy to all those conversations and for various reasons that didn't work out. And so the thought was maybe we just lease it out. Maybe we use it to make some money, we can put it towards our real mission.

And honestly, personally, that was killing me. It was like, no we have this space. It could be put to better use. I just don't wanna see that happen. And so I actually approached my husband and said, this is the space, how I think it could be used. Let's have them give us the pitch. Pretend like you don't know us.

And so we did that and we ultimately gave the endowment to create the philanthropy center at the community foundation. So then my focus really narrowed to, okay, now we have this pretty sign out front and this space and these big ideas, but what's it really gonna mean? A lot of it was really important to me because of my own experience, feeling like I had the desire, I had the resources. I was willing to put in the time, but I really didn't know what to do.

And there really was nobody that I knew that I could talk to about it. And I thought, how many other people like me are out there? And really, a community foundation to me is like a philanthropic umbrella over the entire community. That is the first place to go. They are impartial, and I thought of all the things I didn't know in the beginning, and figure it out on my own, just by reading and talking to people and volunteering, and I just felt like it could be so much easier for other people.

I think when people think of even a community foundation, they think, what do they want from me? They're coming at me with their handout. They want something from me. This was from my perspective. We really need to change the perception in the community of the Community Foundation as a resource. We have something to offer you.

We want to help make your philanthropic goals a reality. Whatever there. You wanna volunteer somewhere, we can help you with that. You wanna make a thousand dollars donation somewhere? You wanna create a donor advise fund? You want an advisor? You're looking for financial advisor? We are a resource. We are here to help you.

And so probably the first year or two formed a committee, created the guiding principles of the philanthropy center. Really didn't do anything other than which I just, I wanted to be very thoughtful going forward. And that was really important because again, hearing other people's feedback, did you know somebody's already doing that?

The community? No, I didn't know that. You don't wanna step on somebody's toes? No, I don't. You don't wanna recreate the wheel. You don't wanna step on somebody's toe, it was a really, going through the hard process of being thoughtful and taking our time, which was really beneficial and it created the structure that exists to this day and then that evolved into—I always especially felt a huge untapped resources.

Women of all ages in the community, professionals stay at home. I just think women have not fully stepped into their power yet. And I think now with this great wealth transfer that is coming up, women need to be prepared. And if financial advisors, community foundations aren't going to do that, who are they going to turn to?

So finally. We created Women in Philanthropy Group. We did it our very first meeting. Our very first event was last March. I'd rather do less and do it big. Everybody knows Phil from the bank up the street. Everybody's seeing so-and-so talk. All these local people are great and wonderful, but everybody already knows them.

Genevieve George: Bring some outside perspective.

Dana Gliniecki: Yes, absolutely. So we were very fortunate that our very, very first event, Wendy Steele from Impact100.

Genevieve George: The founder for Impact100.

Dana Gliniecki: How Gen and I met. I am a member of—one of the things my husband and I did do is buy a home in Sarasota, and I was looking to get involved here and a friend was a member and told me about them.

So I joined the Sarasota Chapter, and it just so happened Wendy Steele is a member of this—

Genevieve George: Also lives there.

Dana Gliniecki: So I got to know her at book signing. She spoke and did a book signing. I monopolized her time at my book signing because it was like, this is what I'm trying to do. Like again, I don't need to reinvent the wheel.

She already cracked the code. She's already done this. Tell me what I need to do to make this happen. Not necessarily an impact chapter because McHenry County is fairly small and rural, but this is exactly what I want to do. Bring women together in philanthropy, be a resource for each other.

And she slipped me her card and said, “Let's continue this conversation later.” And I followed up with her and got to know her and she was kind enough to come and be our keynote speaker, and before we even had a chance to open to the public, we had a hundred people sign up immediately. 

Genevieve George: Yeah.

Dana Gliniecki: Because you had this name on the international scene. And then our second event. So that was really inspiration was the point of that. The second event was… 

Genevieve George: It was all for women in philanthropy.

Dana Gliniecki: Yes. And my son, he works in the nonprofit space.

Genevieve George: He got a special invite. Not a bad place to be in a room full of a hundred women.

Dana Gliniecki: Exactly. Exactly. With his fiancé—let me just put that out there—who also works in the nonprofit space. So our second one, we had Marguerite Griffin from Northern Trust, who I have had the pleasure of seeing speak a number of times. And she spoke about the psychological barriers to giving. And it was fascinating because that is the next step. Okay. You're inspired, and then you start thinking about all the reasons that you're not comfortable that are very normal and legitimate.

So that was wonderful. And that was about 50 people. 'cause it was more interactive. We were in small groups. And we have our next two planned one will be more educational about how the community foundation is structured and some of the nonprofits in the community. And then I'm hoping that our final one will be people creating their own plans and moving forward.

Genevieve George: So you're helping this group of women get excited about philanthropy and then understand how they can participate in it in your community, especially through the community foundation to find out where their biggest needs are, where their dollars can have the most impact.

Dana Gliniecki: Exactly. And at our very first event, we created a women in philanthropy fund and our goal was to raise $150,000.

And we did it from the 100 women. And we gave our first grant to an organization that was doing, obviously there was a process, and we looked for nonprofits that were doing something specifically to advance women and girls. So that was very exciting. So we wanted something very concrete to come out of it.

That's wonderful. 

Genevieve George: Yeah. So you created a giving circle and already have had that have an impact in the community. What an incredible story. I love that. I love that. And okay, so let's wrap it up and few could give some advice to people that are listening, philanthropy or estate planning, or whatever happens to come to mind.

What would you share?

Dana Gliniecki: It would be the same advice for both. I'm a pen and paper. I'm old school. Make a list. What are your goals? Not what are the obstacles? And I also don't like it when people say, I just had this conversation with a friend who said, “I should do more,” and I said, “Stop. You should do exactly what you want to do at this point in your life. Is there something that's interesting, meaningful to you? If so, what would you like to do related to that?”

People don’t like to do what they should do. People like to do what they want to do. And so I think again, just finding that emotional connection. And the same is true for estate planning. Why is it important emotionally?

Is it important because of your children? Is it important because if your spouse were to pass away, whether that happens at 50 or 70 or 90, is it because you would feel very vulnerable and uncertain? Emotionally, what is it that's important to you? Is it control? Is it security? Is it raising good children?

Is it contributing to your community? Emotionally? What is important to you? Make a list and then pick something. Pick one of those things. Sometimes a very obvious priority arises, especially with something like estate planning. You probably want a will in a trust. Okay, what is the next logical step? Find an attorney.

Genevieve George: Make a plan and take some action. Yeah, and just on both accounts.

Dana Gliniecki: One step. The first step's the hardest, but then you get more comfortable and it becomes easier. Just make a list about not what you should do but what's important to you, and then do it. 

Genevieve George: Yeah. I love that.

I love that. Dana, I cannot thank you enough. This was wonderful. I appreciate you being willing and open to share. Thank you so much for being a part of this. 

Dana Gliniecki: You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

That's it for today's episode of The Wealth Development Studio. Remember, financial clarity is powerful. Do you need help with your financial plan? Go to pelicanfinancialplanning.com to schedule a call with me. Until next time.

Genevieve George
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Episode 6: Beyond the Documents: How Estate Planning Decisions Shape Family Outcomes